Page 25 of Sweet Ruin

“Thank you, Viv,” I say to the empty kitchen. “You’ve taught me so much.”

Then the apple goes away, the login screen replaces it, and we’re ready to get hacking.

Well, “hacking” might be a stretch. I’m typing in my husband’s passcode, the same four-digit sequence he’s used since college. Not quite Ocean’s Eleven.

6969. He’s got the maturity of a tween, I know. I can’t believe I used to find him funny.

As simple as that, I’m in.

Add this to the list of things I can’t quite believe: that two fully-functioning adults can be this stupid.

Am I the only one in this family who knows how to read a settings menu?

Apparently.

I tap through to his messages, find the thread with Vivian, scroll endlessly until I finally reach the top, and start to read.

Strangely, the oldest thing in here is from October of last year. Maybe a sync issue, or something similar.

Which means everything before October of last year is out of my hands. Deleted or stored elsewhere, I can’t be sure and I have no way to know.

I don’t know how far back this goes. But it doesn’t really matter in the end, does it?

All that matters is what I choose to do with it.

The early stuff is hotel logistics.

CONNOR: Booked. Same room if they have it.

CONNOR: [confirmation.pdf]

VIVIAN:

VIVIAN: obsessed. dont text me after 9, im at yvettes

There are a lot of exchanges like that. Scheduling on scheduling on scheduling.

There are also a lot of selfies. Between the ones she uploads to our sisters album and the ones she’s been sending to my husband, I don’t know where Vivian finds the time to actually live her life.

It’s just an endless parade of duck lips and ironic peace signs, of making hearts with herself in the mirror and showing an awful lot of cleavage at every possible moment.

Bathing suits galore.

Bathrobes, too.

And then⁠—

Ew.

I mean, my sister’s sex tape started this whole thing. So I guess seeing her naked shouldn’t bother me.

Also, she’s my sister, so I’ve seen her naked plenty of times in our life. (Even if I was always shy to follow suit, for fear of her pinching my side or mocking my too-wide hips.)

But seeing her naked like this feels different.

It’s so… male-gazey, I guess. Designed to seduce.

Ass on a bathroom counter, hand cupping her breasts.