Page 146 of Veil of Blood and Bone

He releases her once he’s emptied, and she sags forward, caught on his chest. Wren’s fingers stay on her thighs until he’s had his fill and she’s trembling with overstimulation.

Yet the question on her face, the one asking why I’m so far away from her...

She’ll have to learn to forgive me.

After the others are asleep, and Helene drapes across my chest, our arms interlocked, the bloodlust abates. It’s never fully gone when we’re together. But without my own blood pumping, without the ravages of sex to act as fuel to the fire, it’s easier to handle.

A sigh rattles through me and my eyes blow wide when she snuggles closer, her head over my unbeating heart.

“Nicholas? Can I ask you something?”

She plucks the words carefully from a word bank in her head, the syllables slow to form. Each one strings tight like she’s afraid of what the punishment will be for her speaking up.

“Anything.”

“Is it always like this? Is it always so...consuming.”

“This is a taste. A drop in a bucket for us. And yes. Every time is like the first time.”

As a human, I’d sampled women across Europe. They were spoils of war, hungry to please, or they were warriors in need of a quick fuck to get their minds distracted from the fragrance of battle gilding their skin. There was always a compulsion, but it was never like this.

It wasn’t like seeing a person’s heart and soul when you looked into their eyes.

With Hellevi, with Helene, it has been different from the start. An opponent and an equal. A lover and a fighter.

And always loss.

“What do you want?” I drag my claws up her bicep and pause. “What is it you actually want, Helene?”

She wastes no time answering. “Having life after life with no memory of you feels like the gods took something from me. I want it back.”

“What do you think it will accomplish?”

“Does it have to do anything? You asked me what I wanted, and I answered. I want my memories. If I’ve lived as many times as you claim I have, if we’ve been together all those times, then why should I not know?”

I go still. “Knowledge is power.”

“Knowledge is knowledge, yes, and power comes from what you do with it. If I’m going against a god...because of course I am... then it’s a no brainer.”

I drag her closer so her entire body drapes over me. Only her leg tangles with Forest’s. Only her hair brushes Wren’s torso. The rest of her is for me alone.

Learning to share doesn’t take away from the demand to claim her for myself. It never has. I wonder if it ever will, or if I’ll always carry a small piece, desperate for something I can’t have. Or will I miss the others if they were to go?

My palm lands on the flat of her spine. “Odin is no match for you.”

“I wish I had the same confidence you do.”

“You don’t need anyone to validate you. You have spirit. You have reason. You have vision and boldness.”

“All well and good, sure, unless you’re up against an all-knowing god. They call him the AllFather, don’t they? I’m just…Helene Ellen Blake,” she whispers.

Helene has always been a thousand times the quality of any Norse deity.

Until she sees it for herself, she’ll be at a disadvantage. No amount of convincing on our part will do anything for her overwhelm.

For now, I’ll love her.

She dips her head to brush a kiss to my lips, the touch like the first hiss of sparklers.