Page 158 of Carousel

It’s like I forget how to walk.

Slowly, my feet come to life again, and I take hold of the banister to keep myself steady as I make my way shakily down each step. The dress is long, and I keep worrying I’ll trip myself, or catch my long sleeves on something. Maybe I should have put on my uniform – but it would have risked waking Meg. I must look odd with the soldier’s vest over the top of it. The whole time, I wish he’d stop staring at me.

A muscle cords in his neck as I join him by his side.

“You descend stairs like a queen,” he says, voice rather low.

My hand slips off the banister.

“And you wait idly by them like a king,” I retort, letting the bitterness I feel sour my voice.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you in a dress. I feel as though I should take your arm.”

“Please don’t.”

“I thought we could talk in⁠—”

I hold my finger up. “I’ve come on one condition only.”

His jaw firms up. “And what would that be?”

“Before we discuss anything, you help me get to the brig. To see Cosmer.”

His pupils contract like candlelight is shining in them.

“No,” he says.

“Yes,” I say, pulling out the cord from around my neck with Cosmer’s key to his ship. I’d tucked it under my dress, by my heart. “With our power combined, we can get to him. Maybe even convince the guards to let him out, so he could escape on his ship.”

“Why would I want to help him? He’s done nothing for me.”

“That’s not true. He’s helped keep us alive these last few days, by getting us through Integration so far,” I say. “And you’ll help him, because if you don’t, I’m going back to my cabin. And our paths might never cross again in this lifetime now that Meg’s my keeper. And I’ll be in Intelligence when I do FI.”

“And after the war?”

“I’ll never go back to Rhavna. Knowing what I know now. Knowing what they did to me in the Palace, for years.” I tense up. “I won’t be a pawn in any queen’s game, prophecy or no prophecy. I’ll go back to my village, to my brother.” I add, “And be with Cosmer.”

His eyes harden.

“You’ve thought this through.”

“I was taught to,” I say, echoing his own words. “You want my power? Then you can help me to use it.”

He presses his lips together.

“Fine,” he says, eventually. “Let’s get it over with.”

We don’t meet anyone else on the ship until we reach the Deck 2 landing. Two soldiers, both carrying sticks of laser light, are coming up the staircase below. Seeing us, they take out their guns and aim them at us.

“What are you both doing OBOH?” the older of the two says, motioning with his weapon.

“They’re the new prisoners, who were dancing,” the younger man with wiry hair spits. His finger is tight on the trigger of his gun. “Explain yourselves. Or we shoot – IES, as per The Accords.”

Drake grabs my hand.

I glimpse him.

He nods, once.