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It’s like I’m sinking. Plummeting. If someone told me the hive was falling out of the sky, I’d believe them.

And suddenly, my face is crumpling. I cover it with my hands. Why must I be such a wreck up here? Why can’t I get it together?

Immediately, his sinewy arms slide around me.

“Hey,” Cosmer says, gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s all my fault,” I say, gasping. “If you’d never met me⁠—”

“Never met you? Ara⁠—”

“It’s true,” I say, looking up at him through my tears. “You wouldn’t have come up here. You wouldn’t have starved yourself. Got yourself addicted to this omisidite⁠—”

“Osimidite—”

“I don’t care! All this time, I didn’t even know.”

“Ara—”

My voice lifts. “And there’s nothing I can do to fix it! Dezeeves refused to reinstate your food unless you asked him yourself⁠—”

“You spoke to Dezeeves?”

“And you don’t seem to believe me when I say I want you, not Drake⁠—”

“I didn’t say that⁠—”

The radio is crackling. That stupid radio.

“Cosmer,” Dezeeves’ voice calls. “What’s taking so long? We’re all waiting. I hope you haven’t disappeared again.”

Cosmer stares at me. With longing, or heartbreak, I can’t tell.

He sighs, long and aching, like it’s actually part of his soul that’s leaving him.

He states, into the worst machine ever invented, “We’re back on The Emperor. Just coming up the Deck 8 stairs now.”

CHAPTER 22

The View from The Bridge

Cosmer holds my hand as we climb the last flight of stairs, cross the narrow corridor, and reach the vaulted door to The Bridge.

He lets go to ring the bell.

He doesn’t take my hand again.

I know that’s to be expected – he can’t be seen to be in a personal relationship with me – but it does make me feel like I just lost my armour.

My legs have no consistency.

I can’t breathe.

“Cosmer. I can’t do this.”

He looks at me. “That’s what you said about making the bed, too, remember? You can do anything.”

The door swings open, and Dezeeves stands framed in the doorway.