Page 133 of The Cheerleader

He whispers, “I want to make love with you, Susie.”

His words explode in my head, and I can’t think or speak, but my body answers him with a deep longing kiss, the kind that claims him, that tells him to please make love to me and never stop.

His hands slip inside my panties and tug at them when he pauses, his lips hovering above mine. “Are you on the pill?”

I smile wide and nod, then pull his face back to mine and kiss him with everything I have, giving him everything—body, heart, and soul.

In the rosy light of the early morning, I start awake, and for an instant, I have no idea where I am. I feel a man’s body next to me, the strong bulk and heat of him. Bryan. I move toward him, and my muscles and the stickiness inside my thighs remind me of the night we spent.

A rush of too many emotions cascades with the flood of memories of last night, the lovemaking, the ride here with Eldy…

But when my mind travels back to the mess of everything that happened before that, trepidation shakes me. Liz.

The warm feelings fade, and being in bed with Bryan doesn’t seem right.

Heart thudding, I’m confused and desperate not to end the bliss of our night. Not yet. I move closer, inhaling the scent of him, and allow the sound of his even breathing to soothe me, allowing contentment to settle through me as the confusion recedes. The good feelings that I have deep down inside seep to the surface, making this room, this makeshift bed, with Bryan next to me, feel like heaven.

Nestling against his back, skin to skin, his body heat suffuses me, warding away reality like a drug, and I drift back to sleep.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Bryan

Even after lovemaking late into the night, I wake up with the morning light. The warm softness of Susie at my back nearly undoes my resolve to get up. I want to say fuck the NFL and the universe, and turn to her, hold her in my arms, and stay in bed forever.

But in spite of my need for her comfort and my stiff dick, I slide from bed without disturbing her, throw on some jeans, and slip from the room. When I make it to the kitchen, I run into Eldy and glance at the clock. It’s almost eight o’clock.

“Fuck,” I mutter.

“Good morning to you, too.” He smiles, his cheeriness perpetually undaunted by me or the facts of life. I keep waiting with dread for him to be disillusioned, hoping like fuck he won’t be. Ever. And doing my best not to be the one to do it.

I grunt and head for the new Mr. Coffee, sent to us for Christmas courtesy of Eldy’s mom. He already made a pot, and I’m pretty sure it smells better than it’s going to taste, but I pour a cup anyway.

“You’re up early. Susie kick you out of bed?”

I give him the finger, but don’t mention I’m up because I’m expecting a call from my agent. I take a long, scalding swallow of black coffee.

“I’m out of here.” He lifts his chin in the direction of the door but makes no move. “Are you sure you want to stay here by yourself for Christmas? Come home with me. Dad loves talking football with you.”

I heave a breath because part of me wants to go. But the rest of me doesn’t feel like being a charity case. Of course, I’m not going home except for Christmas dinner if I can hitch a ride back. I don’t need to spend time under the same roof with my dad when the farm’s closed down for the winter. He’d find chores for me, but none of them would be essential or ones that he can’t handle himself. Besides, I have things going on. “No. Thanks, though.”

He studies me for a second and drops his duffel. “What’s going on with you and Susie? Is she staying here with you? Not that I care or mind⁠—”

“No.” I don’t know what to tell him. I didn’t tell him about the confrontation with Liz last night, only that I needed to bring Susie home with me. He assumed I wanted to spend the night with her for the obvious reasons. He wasn’t wrong. Not completely.

But about Susie and me, I have no answer. If I’m lucky, I’ll be moving to the West Coast at the end of next semester to play football. If I’m unlucky, I’ll be going back to my family’s farm. Either way, I don’t see Susie joining me.

So what the fuck am I doing with her?

“Spill it. You’re way too quiet—even for you.”

“I’m expecting a call about the 49ers this morning. My agent’s been talking to their recruiter.”

A giant grin lights up his face, and he smacks me on the shoulder. “That’s fantastic, man. Not a big surprise to anyone else but you. The press has you ranked to go in the top twenty-five in the draft.”

I snort. “Like they’re never wrong.”

He discards his jacket in a heap with his duffel and retrieves his used cup from the sink. “I think I’ll stay around for this.” He pours some coffee and goes to the fridge to add milk.