Page 60 of The Do-Over Girl

But he doesn’t know how deeply and completely I meant my words. Because I am his, and not just in the here and now. But we’re here now, and this is what we have, so this is what I want.

I know that, for Nash, that night was all about trust, and I didn’t trust him. For me, it was all about commitment, and he clearly chose not to commit. Kind of like right now.

Except now, I’m not an insecure seventeen-year-old with her mother pushing her for a life-long commitment too early.

We walk, and peace descends deep into my bones, bracing me for what I need to do.

“I have one more thing to say about that night, Nash.”

He shrugs. “I thought the air was clear, that we’ve agreed to stay in the present.”

“You’re right. Maybe it’s my conscience that needs clearing this time.” That gets his attention.

I spit the words out fast, hoping that will make them painless. “Maybe I shouldn’t have made an ultimatum in front of the whole school at our graduation dance. At the time, I thought it would be a good test.” It’s my turn to shrug, but my shrug is more awkward than devil-may-care like his. But I remain calm and watch him, steeled for his reaction.

“Why did you need to test me?”

“Because you were leaving, Nash. And I don’t mean the dance, I mean Andrews Point.”

“You were leaving, too.” His voice is hard, his expression a mask, and I’ve made him tense and distant all over again. Shit.

“You’re right.”

He says, “If we wanted a long-distance relationship then trust was everything, Kali. It was all messed up that night. I felt like you didn’t trust me, and you should have. Maybe we were too young. Maybe we made a mistake. Okay, maybe I made a mistake leaving without you that night.” He expels a long breath.

“Okay, that’s enough air-clearing,” I say, holding back regrets because a part of me still wants to cry for that young girl and the wasted seventeen years. But I force myself to remember that it was part of growing up, that I’m stronger now and successful seventeen years later. And I’m here now, with him—the seventeen-years-later version of Nash. And he is… So. Much. Better. And still hot AF.