Page 64 of He Has Pluck

A wounded look passes across her face, and then she smiles that patient smile I’ve seen before, but not for a very long time. I don’t know where I stand on Mom anymore. Too many warring emotions buffet me. But I know I’m a big fat liar. Something has changed.

We’ve finished our pizza, and I toss the remains of our impromptu dinner. We walk back to the chaos outside the locker room, where I see Carlos talking with Dan Ruminski.

Mom spots Dan and tugs me with her in his direction.

“Dan, it’s so good to see you.” She gives him a hug, and he laughs and says how wonderful a surprise it is to see her. He gives me a look, and I let him off the hook, letting him know it’s okay. I’m not going to accuse him of giving away secrets. I introduce Carlos to my mother, and he keeps his poise with only one questioning squint in my direction.

“That was some game,” Dan says. “I came in for the last period, and it was more of an emotional rollercoaster than I was prepared for in a hockey game.”

“O’Rourke will be all right,” I say in case he is worried. He and Carlos look at me like I turned into a troll. “I’m going to head to the hospital with Jason to see him.”

“Perfect. We’ll need that footage tonight—”

“I’m not taking footage,” I say.

“You want Carlos to—”

“I’m there,” Carlos says, saving me from committing professional suicide because I swear I was going to tell Rumniski to shove the camera somewhere indecent. Mom squeezes my arm.

“I’ll film whatever I can,” Carlos says.

“Don’t worry about the film, Dan,” Mom says. “You know the final product will be excellent, even without intruding on the privacy of the poor injured man and his family.”

He stares at her, and so do I, while unfamiliar scrambling goes on in my gut and my head. Mom is running interference for me. She gets it and understands where I’m at without me telling her and with me barely understanding myself.

Dan digests her words and tries to figure out how to respond, but he finally gives her a soft smile and a hug. “You’re right, Mo. I’d forgotten how well grounded you are.” He lets go of her and shakes his head, looking between Mom and me. “And may I just say it’s good to see you two together again?”

“Just this once,” I say, attempting to be gracious because Mom just backed me up. I’m too shaky about her, about accepting her after all this time, about whether understanding her is somehow a betrayal of Dad. Maybe they were both wrong.

Maybe they were both right. Since when did I get to be a Pollyanna?

They were both fucking wrong, and I have no idea where that leaves me and all my warring emotions—except that I long to throw myself into the arms of one particular hockey player despite the fact he’s a hockey player.

That’s one thing I’m sure of, the one thing I’ll go with and not overthink the rest.

“I’ll work on it,” Carlos says, the one true voice of reason, the only one unencumbered with a shitload of baggage. “We can’t include any of tonight’s footage from the locker room without getting an okay from all parties, including the O’Rourkes, Coach and Jason.”

“Tamsen?” Ruminski says. I give him a look of steel.

I give him a steady stare. “I’ll delete the clips myself before I let them go without Jason’s approval.”

He nods. “Okay. That’s sound judgment on your part.”

Delaney stalks over to us.

“Ruminski. Sullivan.” She nods at us, and Dan introduces my mother. Delaney nods and gets straight to business.

“We’re close to the finals and the big moment for the documentary. Game seven is home, and we’re preparing for a big party when we punch our ticket to the finals. We’ll need you all to be there and get it all for posterity. This is big. Either way, we’re counting on you to wring every ounce of joy and sadness, all the drama from whatever happens.”

“You know I will,” I tell her.

She squints at me and says, “I believe you.”

The thing is, I don’t know if I care so much about the documentary right now as I see Jason walking towards me, his face intense, his eyes aimed at mine filled with a universe of emotion.

Chapter Twenty-One

JASON