Page 37 of Your Kiss Is On My List

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Not my place. Besides, I’m not so sure about how Trey feels. He’s been so focused on hockey and that’s been good for him. You know, ever since Dad convinced him it was his destiny.”

I scrunch my brows. She sighs.

“You know—because of the accident.” She whispers like it’s a forbidden subject and I guess it has been taboo all these years, like Trey would break if he was reminded of it, if he thought about it. I remember how he was for a year afterward and it’s no joke that he was broken. But now he’s not. I don’t bother mentioning to Lou that I might have helped him to realize hockey was his destiny, but who am I to say? Maybe it was his dad that convinced and I came along by happenstance that day thinking I was the one who finally talked him into going back to hockey. Kind of like the person who gets the lid off a jar after someone else loosens it.

Either way, he’s conquered the tragedy and not let it drag him down, played hockey in spite of the demons and defeated them.

“About that,” I say. I tell her about the AFTPA competition for Dooley’s class, about submitting a profile piece and the award of ten thousand dollars.

“Sounds amazing. Leave it to Dooley.”

“Dooley’s class is great—except Summer is in it and she insists on sitting next to me, though she won’t talk to me. It’s like she has her eye on me. I’m pretty sure I’ll win the competition, but she has me nervous.”

“Who are you profiling?”

“Trey.” I hold my breath, but she doesn’t react. She’s playing with her phone, scrolling something while I’m talking.

“Stop playing with your phone and listen to me.”

“Did you tell Trey that Summer is in your class?”

“No.”

“Did you tell him there’s an award night in New York City where they’ll show your piece?”

“No. How do you know that?”

“I looked it up. Just now. It’s all online.”

“Then why do I need to tell him if he can find out for himself?” I stick my tongue out at her because I’m not playing fair with Trey, forcing the profile piece on him, and I don’t know why.

Yes, I do. I’m afraid, for the first time in my life, that Trey might not be there for me. Even for the last three years, I knew he would be there for me. But I knew I should wait to call him when I was older, worthier of him, had something more to offer, something more to bond us besides a wayward kiss—and that horrible accident.

“I can’t believe he agreed to do it,” Lou says, putting her phone down. “You’re going to tell about the incident, aren’t you?” I feel her words like a slap of accusation.

“Yes. We’re going to purge it from him, take it out of the dungeon of silence and examine it in the light of day so it has no more power to shadow him. He needs—we all need—to stop dancing around it like a land mine.” Lou blows out a breath.

“I don’t know, Dani. You know what happens when you play with land mines. It could all blow up in your face.” She stares me down. “And this is my brother’s life we’re talking about. I don’t want him hurt.” I step back like she’s shoved me away more than metaphorically.

“Lou, I would never hurt him. You know that.”

“Not intentionally, but I know you’re… desperate.”

“I am not.” Knee-jerk reaction, which of course proves her point because only a desperate person would say such a childish thing unless they were an actual child. “I care about Trey deeply and we have a bond. Why would I be desperate?” My heart speeds up because I’m afraid she’s going to tell me.

“Because, you told me yourself, you want more. You want to be his girlfriend, his one-and-only. And so far, he hasn’t been on board with that, has he?”

Chapter 16

TREY

Lou and Dani are supposed to come over tonight after Lou gets here for her weekend visit. We have a game tomorrow night and so there’s no partying going on at BMOC House, not even for the football guys. We respect each other like that. A bunch of guys are playing cards in the kitchen and I’m watching, too antsy to join.

“Your dog die?” Bane says because no one’s mentioned to him yet that I broke up with Dani, so I give him the finger and he smirks. “Your cat?”

“Dani broke up with him, you dickhead,” someone says.