Page 16 of Big Man on Campus

He smiles. “It was worth a try. But you’re right. I’ll get the story from Kace. Either way, I have a feeling your story isn’t over yet.”

“No, it’s not.” I try on the mantle of confidence, hoping it fits.

After a few beats of quiet because I don’t know what else to say, I resort to tapping my fingers on the table, my worry is now full-fledged anxiety.

A football lineman-size guy, too big for the hockey team, comes into the kitchen and stops short and whistles when he sees me.

“Back off, Romeo,” Fitz says. “This is Glory Rose, Kace’s girl.”

“Glad to meet you, Glory. You’re a full dish from heaven,” he says. I roll my eyes, but I smile at the attempt as much as Fitz’s protective frown.

“Romeo?” I say. “You’re quite a character. Trying to live up to your name?” He laughs and goes to the industrial refrigerator and rummages around. I can’t sit still. I want to go outside, see what’s going on, to talk to the police, but there’s no way Fitz-Liam will let me get away with that. He looks wiry and fast and no doubt a loyal friend to Kace from what I’ve seen so far.

“Hey Liam, how about an arm-wrestling contest?” It’s all I can think to distract my growing anxiety, to keep the ghost from the past away. The only thing I can think to do sitting at the table, besides drinking and that’s what I need to stop. Fitz laughs and shrugs.

“Odd request, but why not? You’re a pip, Glory. Anything I should know about your arm-wrestling experience, like that you’re a closet champion and you’re setting me up?”

“Nothing like that. It’s all I could think of on short notice to keep my mind off—occupied.”

“Good idea,” he says, smart to cut me off before I say anything about Kace dealing with the police. My heart speeds up. I’m waiting for them to come in and arrest me any minute, worrying that they’ll blame Kace somehow and wondering what the heck he’s telling them. I slug down the rest of my coffee and push up my sleeves. It’s either that or jump from my chair and make a run for the door. But something tells me Fitz would win the footrace.

“You for real gonna arm wrestle?” Romeo pulls a chicken leg—or it could be a turkey—out of the fridge and comes over, a bottle of beer in his other hand. “I’ll referee.”

Fitz-Liam gives him a nod and rolls up his sleeve. Romeo lets out a hoot and a whistle. We lean forward, elbows on the table, and my heart races, eyes laser focused and smile wide. I wish I had one of those beers, my heart speeds up as I watch him take a sip. I don’t need it. It’s the last thing I need now. Kace is outside with my wrecked car and the poor tree. It could have been worse.

No. Don’t go there. As a wisp of Sky’s ghost shadows my mind, I force my attention back to Fitz, to the here and now. His arm is longer than mine by two inches, his biceps bulging and his intimidating ropey forearm, veins and muscles defined and at the ready.

More guys pour through the door from the front of the house and they express their interest loudly in various hollers and whistles and cuss words.

I slap my palm against Fitzy’s large callused one and he folds his fingers over mine, swallowing my hand. Tensing every muscle and leaning my entire body into it like my daddy taught me—because I have done this once or twice, though I wouldn’t admit that to Fitzy—I’m ready to go.

In a booming voice, Romeo counts it down and we start.

“Glory! Glory!” The guys chant like they’re cheering for me and it’s a good thing because Fitzy is damn strong and I resist the temptation to use my other hand to bolster me. The guys continue the cheer even louder as I manage to hold my own, leveraging my entire body against Fitzy’s magnificent sinewy forearm.

“You are a strong little—”

“What’s going on, guys?” Kace steps inside the back door and the cheering stops. Fitz gets momentarily distracted, looking guilty like he’s a kid caught streaming porn videos under his covers. That’s all I need. Throwing everything I have into it, in a quick motion, I slam his wrist down with a thud and jump from my chair. Triumph pumps blood through my veins and I throw myself into Kace’s arms.

“I won!”

The smile on his face is lukewarm and the whole scene with my car hitting the tree and police sirens comes crashing back into my consciousness. My heart falls back to earth, sinking low and hard like a lead ball in my gut.

“I saw.” I don’t miss the note of accusation and neither do the other guys who fall quiet. How do I explain to him that I needed to distract myself, to keep the past from overwhelming me, from stealing me from the here and now, merging and mixing? How do I tell him I’m sorry for drinking and driving and crashing? Again.

“You’re a fun fucker tonight,” Romeo says to Kace. He flashes me a smile and says, “See ya later.” He leaves the kitchen and the other guys, all except Fitzy and Brick, follow him.

Fitz stands and asks, “How did it go?”

“No problem. All taken care of.”

Fitz doesn’t look in the least relieved, wearing the twin furrows between his brows like a signpost, like they’re permanent except for rare brief releases from the prison of life’s burdens. Brick, on the other hand, wears a smirk as if he constantly scoffs at life and whatever it brings. I like them both. I’m glad Kace has these two as friends and I can see they’re as loyal as blood brothers.

“What did the police say?” My head aches now and I need to think straight. “Why didn’t they ask to see me?”

“I had your car towed. Looks like it’s totaled only because it wasn’t worth much to start with, sunshine.” He gives me that tight smile, not the Kace-Mona Lisa look., I drift back to him, wanting to erase whatever’s bothering him, to reassure him. But I’m the cause of his problem. I feel like a helpless, hopeless girl with no head, only heart. Maybe that’s what I am.

Brick raises a brow, but doesn’t say anything. Fitz nods.