Page 18 of Playing for Love

“My father.”

No hesitation. I sensed there was more, waited as I stood leaning against my kitchen counter, holding the phone to my ear with one hand and the empty protein drink container with the other. I tossed the container into the sink. The housekeeper would get it tomorrow.

She finally let out a huff of air and spoke.

“He inspired me. I know I may have resented his career, just a little, taking him away from the family, from me, so much when I was young, but I grew to really admire him and his passion for his work. My mother flat-out adored him, worshipped him, would have done anything for him.” She quieted, then finished. “Including have a baby when she’d never planned to.”

I felt the stab for her across time and space, and sucked in a breath. I said, “That’s tough.”

“Not anymore. She’s admitted to being more than glad Dad changed her mind. He said he didn’t have to twist her arm very hard. I say it’s because she wanted to do nothing more in life than please him first, and second, please me. In my family, my father always came first, for both me and my mother.”

“You must be pretty lost without him now. Both of you.”

She sighed deeply, giving away the hurt in her soul, making me feel the pain with her.

“Always. It’s been hard, I won’t lie. But he’s with me every day. You know what I mean? He inspires me. That’s why this job means so much to me. I know I got it partly because of him, because the chief resident, the doctor in charge of emergency room staffing, was an old colleague and admirer of his. I didn’t have enough experience, not really. But I’m going to make up for it with hard work. I’m taking a page from your book, Gabe. I’ve been hanging around on my off shift, eating with some of the operating room nurses and EMTs, going out of my way to get to know people.”

“Can’t hurt, but don’t sell yourself short. You have a lot to offer.”

She laughed when I didn’t mean for her to. I lifted myself from the counter and walked automatically to my bedroom. It was getting late.

“And you would know this how?”

“I have good instincts about people. You’re wise beyond your years, brighter than most, and you’re a giving and gracious person.” You make people want to be around you. You make me want to be around you.

“What kind words. It’s a good thing you can’t see me blush.”

“You went and gave your blushing secret away. I never would have guessed.”

She laughed and I breathed deep, closing my eyes, taking in the sound, everything under it, the pleasure, the delight, the easygoing nature, let it soothe and buoy me. I stood on the threshold of my bedroom door.

“I’ll have to let Denise know you’ve been good to me. A perfect gentleman.”

Those words opened my eyes, caught me up, brought me back to reality.

“Good. Talk her into coming up for regular conjugal visits while you’re at it.”

She laughed and I swear I could hear the sympathy in it, not the sorry kind, but the kind that tells you you’re right, that you deserve better. I went to my bed and sat on the edge.

“I’ll make it my mission. The disclaimer is that I have little influence in the Gabe-the-boyfriend department with your girl. She has it in her head that—”

She paused. I knew she was torn about talking behind Denise’s back, but I pressed her.

“Go on. Tell me. I probably already know or could guess.”

“Then guess. I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

“She’s teaching me a lesson.”

“Not exactly.”

“She wants to make me miss her?”

“Bingo. She wants absence to make the heart grow fonder.”

“What does she expect to get out of it?”

“You know the answer to that better than I do.”