Page 22 of A Complicated Bride

Chapter 8

Lily

As Teddy stared me down, swiping the napkin across his lips after chewing his last piece of cheesecake, I stood. My legs shook, I won’t lie. Brad immediately stood also, quicker and taller than Teddy who stumbled to a stand, knocking his chair back.

“Teddy will give me a ride back to the Inn,” I said to Brad. I had no smile and felt my body wavering, wanting to throw my arms around him like the life raft he was. I would need to analyze that tomorrow. If he was still around. If he was still talking to me after seeing what a crazy person I was.

I thanked Julie and Jack and walked to the front door, rushing to stay ahead of Teddy. I didn’t want him touching me, especially not in front of Brad. That was such warped thinking on so many levels. I had only met the man today. I was a mess over him already.

But maybe some of my instant infatuation was about leaving Teddy. I had to allow for that possibility no matter how much my gut and my heart rebelled at the idea. Either way, I needed to wait to examine the Bradley effect tomorrow. As Scarlet O’Hara would say. Tomorrow was another day.

Right now, I needed to deal with my revolt at Teddy opening the car door for me. He remained silent for the moment, but I was half afraid he wouldn’t stop and drop me at the Inn, that he would keep driving and take me all the way back home.

When he pulled his door closed behind him, the panic at returning to the prison of my old life frightened me into new heights of boldness.

“I am not going back with you, Teddy. Take me to the Inn.”

He looked at me, the hurt in his soft brown eyes almost slicing through my armor of panic and fear. But I somehow ended up in the middle at a sane mindset, calm and lucid.

“It’s not going to work between us and I’m very, very sorry I didn’t talk to you about my dissatisfaction sooner. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“Dissatisfaction? Like in the bedroom?” He almost sounded hopeful as if he could fix it. He probably figured he could get a book out of the library about satisfying your lover and all would be well. I had to put the cabosh on that hopefulness as mean as it sounded in my own mind.

“No. I mean everywhere, Teddy. I’m not suited to you. The only thing we have in common is accounting. I don’t have fun with your friends and you refuse to socialize with mine. I don’t enjoy your hobbies and you don’t enjoy mine.”

“Is this about that community theater thing? If you want—“

“Yes and no. I do want to do community theater, but its because of who I am, that I need a creative outlet, an emotional outlet. And you don’t. We’re two different kinds of people.”

I saw his face collapse and he knew what I meant and I watched him try to mount an argument, use logic the way he liked to do, but he remained silent, searching his mind for something. So I went on.

“I like you Teddy and I’ll always think of you as special, but we’re not meant to be husband and wife. I can’t marry you.”

“Different kind of people?”

I thought of Brad and how we clicked instantly, seemingly on so many levels and I nodded my head, neve more sure of my decision. Then Teddy surprised me with his insight in the next thing he said.

“I suppose that man Bradley Simmons is your kind of person then.”

My mind shouted yes, but wisely kept the thought inside my head. It was true, but it wasn’t about Bradley Simmons.

“It’s not about Brad. It’s about us.”

Even if I’d never met Bradley, I wouldn’t change my mind about Teddy. But I didn’t think I needed to hammer him on the head. Not now at any rate.

He turned away and remained silent, though I heard the reprimands in my conscience. Why didn’t I realize this sooner before I accepted his engagement ring, before we planned the wedding, before I allowed him to buy me a very expensive wedding gown for me. I had no answer to that except that I was too afraid, too weak, too abhorrent of disappointing anyone I cared about. I hadn’t wanted to hurt him and so I threw myself on the stake. Or something like that, but maybe not so melodramatic.

At least I didn’t wait until the day of the wedding and leave him standing at the alter. There’s that. Way to go Lily.

He drove to the Inn and pulled up in the drive, putting the car in park, but not shutting off the ignition switch. I was glad and then immediately felt guilty about being glad.

Taking a deep shaky breath, I tugged the diamond ring off my finger and handed it to him. He took it, his face flat and lifeless. I knew he was numb. I knew the numbness wouldn’t last. I knew I’d need to check in on him because I really did care. But I couldn’t say any of those things right now for fear of cracking the calm that we both needed to move on from this moment.

I leaned forward and gave him a quick hug and a heartfelt kiss on the cheek, then before he could say or do anything and before I started balling my eyes out, I opened the door and stepped out of the car.

The walk to the Inn’s kitchen door had never seemed so far. I don’t think I took a breath until I stepped inside and slammed the door closed behind me.