Page 43 of Rage’s Rose

“I’m going to be real brutal and real honest with you, Caleb. You fucked up and you fucked up so bad. Cane here, he fucked up, but he never went there with someone else and I would place money on the fact that Liza knows that. She probably has issues with a lot of what he said and what he was doing. You say you actually went there and hid the fact that you were actually going there with other women while you were not using protection with another woman. That’s messed up. She should’ve known. I mean you haven’t even really said if you’ve been cleared of any diseases. I mean you’re telling me you were so fucking drunk you don’t remember anything and you were in bed with the club bitches. The club bitches you guys have these days, the new ones are horrible.

I mean look at what happened to me when one of them thought she had dibs on my husband because she thought her daddy was supposed to inherit the club. These bitches will do some fucked up shit to get themselves the brother they want. From what I have heard, that woman you were seeing has gotten a lot of shit from some of those girls the entire time you guys were sleeping together. So it is safe to say it hurts worse knowing that even though those bitches treated her like that, you still went there when she thought there was something more to what you were doing. I mean granted you two should’ve had that talk a long time ago, but you didn’t so here we are.

I’m going to say something to you and I don’t want you to hate me for it, but your past, the things that happened to you and the way you grew up doesn’t give you a free pass to treat women the way you have. I’m angry for her. You are a twenty seven year old man, it is time to work through your shit. I know it was horrible, I am not downplaying what you went through before you came here and then what you saw where you were made to think it was okay to treat women like they are disposable. But it is time for you to seek some fucking help, Caleb. You have a ten year old son who needs you to be the best you can be. Not someone who is going to fucking disappear when shit gets hard or when you feel like shit is going ot end up hurting you if you don’t fucking push it away. You also now have another baby on the way, with a woman who, I don’t know if you can win back. I hope you can because you deserve to have a woman who makes you feel safe and loved. You have never had that and I hate that for you.

My relationship with you and the relationship you have with the other ol’ ladies is not the same as actually having someone you know is going to love you despite all the horrible shit you do. Someone who is going to be waiting for you when you come home. Like I said to Cane, you need to figure out what you want. You need to get your shit together and talk to her. You need to make her hear you and you need to open up to her. You’re going to have to be vulnerable and let her see parts of you that you haven’t let anyone else see. I know that you don’t like sharing your past, but she might be the woman that helps put you back together. She is not going to judge you for things that happened when you couldn’t control them. NO one is. I am always here for you, Toby is always here for you. You need to stop carrying everything on your shoulders by yourself. Clearly, that doesn’t work for you because you take your rage out on the people who love you the most. Also talk to your dad.”

“I hear what you are saying and you know what you said a lot of fucking truths that I needed to hear. But please don’t tell me to let go of my rage about everything with my dad and talk to him when you won’t even talk to yours. I love you, Sophie. But what happened was not Bulldog’s fault.”

She looks at me and gives me a sad smile.

“That might be true, but what happened to you was not your dad’s fault either. The way you think about women and not trusting ones that get close to brothers is not your dad’s fault. Even though he was a bit of a whore when we were younger.”

The conversation turns less serious after that and all eventually leave and head our separate ways, but the conversation with Sophie still rings in my mind the rest of the night. It is definitely time for me to work through my shit.

Chapter Twenty

Rage

Months Later

Today we are all at the courthouse for the adoption of Walker and Waylon. Everything got put together fast because the boys did not have a father to remove rights from and the situation of how they were conceived was something that was shared with the courts. So the progress moved forward. Everyone is excited and I can’t keep my eyes off the woman who is currently pregnant with my baby. She’s standing up by Parker and Peyton in the front. She looks beautiful. She is probably the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen in my life and I can’t say that I am biased because it is my baby she is pregnant with.

“You’ve got to stop staring at her, son.” My dad whispers in my ear. “Why don’t you try to talk to her again after everything is done?”

I sigh and look at dad, “I’ve tried so many times, dad. She wants nothing to do with me. I don’t know how we are supposed to coparent and be a part of each other's lives for the rest of our lives if she won’t talk to me.”

“Well talk to her and find out. You can’t give up, that is my grandbaby she is pregnant with. Do you even know what she is having? Plus Caleb, I know that look in your eye you love her. Why are you so afraid to love her?”

I shake my head, “It doesn’t matter dad. It’s not going to happen. She has made it clear that she doesn’t want that part of our relationship. She also hasn’t told me what she is having and since I was not allowed at her baby shower, I still don’t know.”

Dad and I talked shortly after that conversation I had with Sophie and we still have shit to work out and there is still a lot about my years before I met him that I have not told him. I think I am really too ashamed to tell him and I really don’t want anyone to know the extent of everything that happened while I was in my mother’s care. But right now we are good. He tries to offer advice about everything that has happened and I try to follow it to be better, but I’m not always great on the follow through. I wish I could be like Dragon and tell Rose this is how it is going to be, but she is not letting that happen. I hate that we still haven’t had a conversation and that I am still in the dark on everything. Her lawyer has sent custody papers that I have refused to sign because I am holding out hope I can get Rose to talk to me before the baby is born.

“Where is Mason at?” I ask dad without taking my eyes on the beautiful woman standing up by Liza.

“He’s with the McGraws. Have I told you how upset I am that you introduced him to that family before me? I mean that’s my first grandchild and he’s so fucking attached to Lash.”

“Yeah well, I don’t know what to tell you old man. I was angry with you and myself. I took most of it out on you, but I wanted Mason to have some friends and guess what, Declan is the same age as him. So naturally we got them together.”

“Yeah, if those two are anything like you and Lash together, you are all in trouble. I mean at least we never had to worry about Lash chasing around a bunch of girls. He always had his eyes set on Sophie from the moment their mama’s laid them down in a crib together.”

We both stop talking as the judge goes over why we are here and then signs off on the adoption. We all stand around while pictures are taken of the new family and it makes me smile how the boys look so happy and Dragon has never looked happier now that he has his woman and boys. I think the only thing that could make him happier is if she agrees to marry him before their next baby is born.

“Alright, party at the clubhouse?” Dragon asks as he walks towards us with Waylon and Walker.

“Is Terror still at the hospital with Ruby?” Hurricane asks as he comes up next to us.

“Yeah, she is still unconscious unfortunately. The doctors say that there is no reason for her to still be under, so we are hoping that she will wake up soon.” Liza says next to Dragon as she holds Jaxon.

“We have cake and a bunch of food at the clubhouse for—-”

Before Dragon can finish the sentence I hear Parker, “Rose, are you okay?”

I snap my head to Rose and she is holding her stomach and her face is scrunched up in pain. I start to walk towards her, but Peyton cuts me off.

“No.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Peyton? She’s in pain and she’s pregnant with my baby. Move out of the way.”