Page 167 of Coveted

I bite the inside of my cheek. “I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

Lucan looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Every part of me wants to be with every part of you, always. Isn’t that obvious?”

“Not in the past couple of weeks, no.”

“You went through something awful, Sadie. You needed time to recover and process Halloween. And the other stuff too. The stuff about us. That day at my place, when you saw the computer monitors⁠—”

“Yeah, about that⁠—”

“I know.” Lucan leans forward, his eyes raw and sincere. “It was fucked. I shouldn’t have lied to you about the necklace. I shouldn’t have hacked into your bank records. Or smuggled a camera into your room.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“I’m so sorry. I hate that I broke your trust. I had no right.”

As I think about the situation, my shoulders unwind. “I can’t imagine how hard your cousins’ murders were on you, so close together. I probably would’ve gone overboard too.” I pause. “I’ve burned down a police station. I guess I can understand extreme measures.”

“But still, it was wrong.”

“Yes. And nuts.”

“And nuts,” he agrees.

“And I forgive you.”

It feels good to say that, and mean it. To walk toward closeness instead of running from it.

He shakes his head like he has a hundred regrets. “I’ll never hide things from you again, Sadie. Never. I was a fool. I lied because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you and then I lost you because I lied.”

The fire sparks, the warmth seeping into my skin.

I wriggle forward until our knees almost touch.

Lucan still possesses the ability to draw me to him like a magnet, more than ever.

“You didn’t,” I say.

“What?”

“Lose me.”

His face changes, as though a crushing weight has been lifted from his soul.

Though his eyes still look haunted, their complex blue depths contain hope now too.

“But you’re not, you know, scared of me?” he asks.

Considering my reply, I press my lips together.

When I was on the tower, moments from death, I would’ve given anything for the chance to speak honestly to Lucan about how I feel. Now I have the chance, so I’m determined to hold nothing back.

“I was scared, but not of you,” I say. “The truth is, I couldn’t comprehend a world where I received my heart’s deepest desire. Having a connection so powerful, so good, so messed-up in exactly the right way for me. That’s what scared me. The truth is, I like you. Your confidence, your single-minded nature, your intensity, and the way you always do what you say you will. I like how you are as a person. I’m not scared. I want you.”

“Thank god.” He exhales. “Because you are like an angel to me, with just the perfect depth of darkness. You are passionate, sweet, courageous, and brilliant. Being around you makes me want you more, and so does being apart from you. If you could ever feel a fraction for me of what I feel for you, I’ll die a happy man.”

My knee nudges his leg.

Lucan’s jaw twitches and he flexes his fingers, like he’s dying to hold me but doesn’t dare yet.