Page 94 of Striking Range

“You’re too generous, Mr. Carmichael! I would love some Italian.” Ashley smiles, all white teeth and perfected makeup as she grabs my hand and squeezes.

“It’s settled then!” my adoptive dad says, landing a hard pat on my back. “Let’s go before they get busy.”

We follow Ash and Felicita out and into the front yard, Ashley climbing into my car as I open the door for her.

“We’ll meet you there,” I shout, sliding into the driver’s side.

As soon as the door shuts and the engine roars to life, I sigh. Ashley peers over at me, a brow raised.

“What’s wrong, Ev?” she asks.

“Nothing, actually. I just… I never truly got this experience before. Not authentically.”

She hums, settling into her seat. “Well, don’t get too used to it. This is all a means to an end.”

Ashley is right. I created a master plan to protect myself, and it’s going better than I could have ever imagined—but it will crumble sooner or later. It has to, for me to achieve what I’m after.

“I know,” I murmur, pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the middle of town. “But it’s nice in this moment, them loving me so much.”

“But is it love?” Ashley prompts softly. “Is it truly love if you have to hide to have it?”

I say nothing.

It’s not that I’m ignorant; I see how other families operate, and how mine is dysfunctional and mildly abusive. But I will always crave the love of my parents, the only ones who chose me.

And if this is the closest to love I’ll ever receive from them, then I will cherish it. Even if just briefly.

We sit in silence for most of the drive, and I ponder my reality and where I’ll be at the end of the month, when I anticipate everything will fall to shit.

In some ways, I’m lucky to have had these past few weeks of peace. When I look back a few years from now, I will remember these moments with Ash and Felicita and see them in such a beautiful light—even if I know it’s fabricated from my lies.

“Oh, I never asked, but what did your mystery boyfriend say about this grand plan of yours?” Ashley asks, just as we break away from the suburban park of Sinclair.

“I, uh… I haven’t told him.”

“What!?” She’s staring at me, wide-eyed, and I glance at her briefly.

“Well, he’d worry. He’s always dropping hints that I should break contact with my family, and I’m just not ready. Not until I’ve graduated. I don’t… I don’t want to be alone yet.”

Ashley groans, borderline glaring at me now. “You wouldn’t be alone! You know what, I’m not getting into that with you. Your man can dissect those issues. But have you considered what he’d feel if he found out?”

I have considered it. Skylar would be so livid, so upset that I’ve been keeping this from him. But I know for a fact that he wouldn’t allow me to do this—if only for my own mental health. And I have to. It’s the only way I can keep the peace until graduation; the only way I can hold onto my family for a bit longer.

Both Ashley and Skylar grew up with loving parents—their actual parents. They’ll never understand this burning need to feel wanted, worthy, and loved.

They will never understand what it does to the soul to be left alone once and then thrown away a second time. I cannot give my adoptive parents a reason to leave me before I’m ready to be tossed aside.

“He won’t find out,” I assure her, keeping most of my thoughts to myself. “I only bring you here when I know he won’t be in this part of town; that’s why we went out for Thanksgiving. He’s studying with a friend today.”

“It doesn’t have to be a run-in; word could get around,” Ashley says.

“Then I’ll just have to hope it doesn’t.”

I’ve done a good job at hiding it so far, and Skylar steers clear of family talk most of the time. I think he’s scared of startling me or seeing me spiral.

We pull up to the restaurant, and just as I’m about to climb out next to Ash and Felicita’s Cadillac, Ashley grabs my arm and holds me hostage.

“Listen,” she demands, sending me a stern look. “You need to consider how this might affect your relationship, how it might hurt him. You know I don’t mind being your beard for the time being, but your actions have consequences.”