Page 87 of The Moment He Couldn’t Walk Away

“Having siblings and people who love you,” she said softly, and he could hear the longing in each word.

“Nina—”

“I didn’t say it for sympathy, Finch. I said it to remind you that you are lucky and to never stop appreciating who you have in your corner, even when they annoy you.”

She had her back against the headboard now, arms wrapped around her drawn up knees, watching him. Lost, he thought, that was how she looked. Lost and scared, even though he knew she’d deny it. Nina had taken knocks that would have put anyone off their stride, and they just kept coming.

Looking at her sitting there, vulnerable in his bed, he realized something. She was important to him, and he had no idea what to do about that, but maybe he could start by being open with her about what he was going through.

He came back to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, looking at her. “If I’m honest—which I’m trying to be these days—I don’t know how I would have coped without them. They made sure I had someone with me when I needed it most. Even when I came back after my discharge, Birdie and Dad were there, waiting to bring me home, although at the time, I believed I wanted to be alone.”

“I’m sorry you had to leave the army, Finch. I can’t imagine what it would feel like having part of your identity ripped away like that.”

He made himself look at her even as he wanted to leave the room and stop this discussion. When Finch let himself think about the life he’d walked away from, it felt like someone was squeezing lemon juice over a hundred cuts on his body.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m lost,” he said slowly. “I didn’t plan for anything else, Nina.”

The mattress moved, and he felt her arms encircle his shoulders. Finch pulled her into his lap, needing her closer.

“Of course you didn’t, because you thought you’d be a soldier until you retired,” she said, leaning her head on his chest.

“Who am I if I’m not a soldier?” The words came out a rasp.

“I can’t tell you what to think, Finch, but I can tell you what I know.”

“What do you know?”

“Plenty, actually.” That made him smile into her hair. “But let me tell you what other people and I see when we look at you.”

“No need⁠—”

“Birdie told me once that your dad was wonderful but gentle. He avoided conflict most of the time, but not you. She said her big brother was strong, way too good at equations, and always there when she needed him to be.”

He listened as she talked, knowing she wouldn’t stop until she was done. Like Blue, Nina was determined, and he knew she’d follow him around until she’d said her bit.

“Blue said that your determination was what told her to never give up when she wanted to. She told me you used to help her with her homework because no one else was smart enough to try.”

“Only because she didn’t want to do it by herself, so I used to make everyone sit at the table and do it together.”

“Organized and disciplined at a young age. Nice work.”

“I’m glad my sisters liked me, Nina, and that’s important—really—but it doesn’t change who I am now. A man with no plan B who is building an extension on a coffee hut and working the bar.”

“And yet what you could be doing is nothing, which is what plenty of people would be doing in your situation,” she countered.

“I went to look at the Burns land.” Why he’d told her specifically that, when only Dan knew, he wasn’t sure, but the words had come out anyway.

“And what did you find?”

Finch could get used to holding her like this. She fit, and wasn’t that a scary thought?

“Land and a house with an outbuilding.”

“Standard stuff for farmland around here, then.”

“Pretty much. Dan told me I should buy it and start a fitness retreat. Something for corporates to come to, and young people who need straightening out⁠—”

“Oh my God, yes!” Her shriek had him wincing.