Page 15 of Insatiable

“We have eyes inside the place. An informant that works at the club and an undercover police officer is there as well, and they have both been told to keep an eye out for James. If he shows up there, we will know. For now, we have no idea where he could be. You need to keep Ms. Charles inside and out of sight. If I find out anything else, I will let you know,” Detective Jones blows out a tired breath, says his goodbyes and hangs up.

“Fuck!” Cace yells, slamming his hands down on the counter, looking at me like I have all the answers to our growing problems.

I pick up my phone and text Jay. We needed to talk, and I don’t know how any of this will affect Tate.

ME: It’s an Emergency. Bring Tatum home.

Jay: What’s happening?

ME: Come home, Jay.

Jay: Home?

ME: Yes, home.

Jay: On the way.

“She’s been with Jay all day in downtown Santa Barbara, Sean. What if they were spotted? No, scratch that. You know they were spotted. A lot of famous people live in this area, there is always paparazzi around.” Cace paces the floor, hands on his hips, fingers digging into his waist.

“Then we prepare for that. We prepare for all eventualities.” I steel myself, trying to keep it together. One of us has to. Tate’s life is in our hands.

Today is perfect. Days like this always are with Jay. I am not thinking about James, my home, or anything else that’s caused my sleepless nights lately. Even with the awkwardness of the past two weeks with all three of them, it’s still been better than any day spent with James. Why did I not see it? Did I settle with James because I felt he was what I deserved? Two weeks in therapy and we are still getting to the bottom of my insecurities. The nightmares are still there but they are easing now I have someone to talk about them with.

I was so shocked by the revelations of the first night with the guys, that I shut them all out. I didn’t want to accept that after all this time they still felt passionately about me. My thoughts drift back to my session from yesterday. By the end of it I knew I still have work to do, but I don’t want to do it without them in my life.

“Do you think you don’t deserve love, Tate? Dr. Schaffer asks, her pen taps the clipboard she’s holding with a metronome like cadence that I find hypnotic. I sit back on the comfy black plush suede couch with my eyes closed. I find it is easier to talk to her this way. There is something about eye contact when I am at my most vulnerable that makes me clam up. I don’t like to believe that she is passing judgment on my life’s decisions, so I keep my eyes closed. I don’t have to see her.

“When my parents died, I was sixteen. It was just my grandmother and me. I always wondered where my other family members were. Why didn’t anyone step up from my father’s side of family? They didn’t even bother coming to the funeral. Just all their friends. I guess that’s where it all started.” I can hear the pen scratching quickly along the paper, then it stops. “I believe that they didn’t reach out because they didn’t love me. No one cared what happened to me. Not a good headspace to be in as a teenage girl, hey. I developed a hard skin after it. I knew then no one was going to love me more than I loved myself. That I was enough. So, for a long time I didn’t think I deserved it because no one offered.” I take a shaky breath. I have never thought this deeply about it at all. But therapy is opening up all of my old the wounds, and I’m bleeding out the bad and patching myself up piece by piece.

“What about Cace, Jay, and Sean? Do you mind if I ask about them? We’ve looked at your reason for being with James, but I am curious about where your head is about the three of them.” For some reason I knew she would want to know how I feel about them, especially after the love question. Okay, Dr. Schaffer.

“They are the reason why I let myself feel again. I was closed off when I met them all those years ago. They individually opened parts of my heart and kept those pieces with them: even after all this time.” My words fall from my lips freely without a moment to think about it. I pause. Shocked by my admission, my willingness to share something so critical that easily.

“Since they’ve been back in my life, I know this.” I sit up slowly and put my feet on the floor to face her. “I’ve always loved them. I don’t think I ever stopped. The problem is whether I feel worthy or not.”

“Why?” The sound of her alarm chimes, alerting us to the end of the session. I feel relieved. I don’t think I can dig any deeper than I already have.

“Guess we will have to pick this up on Monday. But think about this. Why do you feel unworthy of men who are willing to give so much of themselves to you?”

Jay’s strong arm holds me tight as I lay with my back against his side. His hold grounds me. I take myself out of my head and come back to the present. My sunglasses shield my eyes as I read my latest smutty book on Kindle.

We are sitting on a bench, in our own little bubble of peace as the world keeps turning around us. People walk past us, not paying us too much attention, until someone notices Jay. He speaks to them quickly, always nice and polite, far from the shy younger man I knew all those years ago. The years have made Jay confident and sure of who he is, and it’s sexy as hell. No matter how many people stop to chat, Jay holds me tighter, never bringing too much attention to the woman at his side, making sure that he protects me. I don’t mind, I was so wrapped up in the heated moment of my book that there could have been a fire and I wouldn’t have noticed. I was practically panting from the last scene I had just read and reclining here in his arms is making things worse.

“What has you breathing so hard, Tatter-tot?” Jay asks after he said goodbye to whoever was talking to him. If he could see the warming of my cheeks, he would know exactly why my heart is beating faster and I am squirming in his hold. Suddenly, I’m aware of every part of him that’s touching my body. Jay’s arm is banded around my waist, mere inches beneath my breast. If I took a deep breath, he would feel the swell of them and just how hard my nipples are. His left-hand rests on my arm, gripping me with his fingers, sending tingles down my body. His lips and breath hover just above the shell of my ear, warmth from his exhale brushes the side of my face.

“Nothing. Reading, that’s all,” I say a little too breathlessly for my liking. Jay goes to sit up and I thought he was going to put some space between us, instead, he holds me closer. I didn’t think we could get any closer until he pulls me onto his lap, my ass resting on his semi-hardening cock.

“Is your book making you needy, Tate?” He takes my chin in his hands and turns my face towards his. My mouth goes dry as I try to swallow past the lump forming in my throat. Jay doesn’t call me Tate unless he’s being serious. He doesn’t smile, he just smirks knowingly as I zero in on his full lips and captivating light hazel eyes.

“No,” I whisper, attempting to be stubborn and ignore my growing arousal.

“Don’t lie, Tate. I was reading over your shoulder.” I lean away from him, eyes wide, biting my lower lip, slightly embarrassed, and wondering what part he had read.

“You have three dicks at home. All you have to do is ask, and your pleasure is mine. Ours.” He leans in, his lips so close, I could lick them. His cock is so hard I can feel it through my thin yoga pants. Thank God for yoga pants is all I can say because I can feel it all. I close the small distance between us and kiss him hungrily. We both groan in relief, this kiss is eight years in the making. I part my lips further, allowing his tongue access just as his phone pings. He ignores it and takes my bottom lip between his teeth sucking hard. I am putty in his hands, and we’ve only kissed. His phone pings again and we break apart, eyes locking and breathing hard like we’ve run a marathon. Jay lifts his hip, tantalizingly his cock pushes against my pussy, making me bite back a moan. People are still walking around and going about their day in the late afternoon sun. Pulling out his phone, he instantly sits up straighter, showing me the message from Sean.

The Lawyer: It’s an Emergency. Bring Tatum home.

The King: What’s happening?