Page 90 of Vows of Blood

“Know too much,” I laugh, taking another sip of my wine. “It’s not a movie.”

Rebecca takes the wine from me, setting it down on the counter, real concern etched on her face as she takes my hands in hers.

"You’re right, it’s not a movie, which makes it even more terrifying, because someone shot up his restaurant in real life. That doesn’t happen to normal people. I’m worried about you."

She doesn’t understand just how bad things are.

The memories push forward, things I haven't spoken about in years, and somehow, I muster up the courage to admit how bad my life is. I’m at rock bottom. I’ve got nothing left to lose.

"His father didn't just disapprove." Keeping my eyes fixed on the driveway, waiting for Luca’s car to swing in, I find the nerve to tell her what I’ve never told anyone. Not even my parents.

“After Luca was taken back to Italy, I refused to accept that he’d just left, no matter what Alfonso said. I knew where their family home was, and I sent a letter through a local courier.”

Rebecca doesn’t move, just gives my hands a gentle squeeze.

"Alfonso must have found out I was looking for him. Luca hasn’t mentioned the letter, so I don’t think he ever saw it.” Dragging a hand over my face, I try to block out the flashbacks. “I was homesick, feverish, and barely able to get out of bed when I heard glass shattering in the living room." I can still feel the terror of that moment, alone in the house, dread slithering up my spine. Knowing whatever was coming was going to be really bad. "There was a brick on the floor. A note tied to it. This is your fault. I warned you."

Rebecca's face goes pale.

"Then the phone started ringing; there was a fire at my parent’s garage. It almost burned to the ground."

As soon as I got the call, I knew. Alfonso was spiteful and dangerous enough to do it. And it was all my fault.

"Sienna… does Luca know?"

I shake my head. What’s the point? I can’t prove it. Can’t change it.

"The investigation called it arson. Some evidence pointed to my father, but he would never…” I trail off. “He built that business from the ground up and was so proud of it, but the financial records showed the business was struggling. The insurance company refused to pay out and told him he was lucky the police didn’t have enough evidence to press charges." I laugh, but there's no humor in it. “Lucky. When his life was in ruins.”

I thought I’d cry when I finally told this story, but instead, I feel numb.

"Jesus."

"The locals heard the rumors and made up their minds. Nobody wanted to hire a man they thought was a criminal and a cheat." I look at Rebecca, who has tears in her eyes, because she knows what came next for my dad. "People he'd known for thirty years crossed the street to avoid him. His own friends wouldn't look him in the eye."

They should have known he’d never do something like that, just like Luca should have known I’d never have given him up unless I had no choice.

I can still see my father at the kitchen table, staring at nothing, bottle in hand, and my mother crying in the bedroom so I wouldn't hear. That fire destroyed them both. Things were never the same after.

Rebecca’s gaze softens, my hatred of feeling pitied kicks in again, and I push my shoulders back.

"So I dropped out of college to work, three jobs at one point, just to keep us afloat, trying to pay for repairs and keep the roof over our heads, but it wasn’t enough." I sigh, tired even thinking about how hard we tried, but ultimately, still failed. "The bank took the business. Then the house."

And it was all Alfonso Calvano’s doing. I know it.

"Did you ever try to reach out to Luca again? Tell him what happened?"

I shake my head. "Even if I could have gotten in touch with him, I couldn't leave. My parents needed me. I was still drowning in student debt from the degree I never finished. There was no way I could abandon them to chase after a boy whose family might hurt us again if they found out."

Even now, I feel like a coward admitting it.

"So I let him get away with it, and I never told a soul what happened.” I stand abruptly, moving to the window, needing space. Tugging my sleeves down, I wrap my arms around myself. “But he’s not ruining my life again. This is my only chance to have a do-over, and I deserve it.”

My blood sings just thinking about it, my temper rising, a soul-scorching mixture of shame, humiliation and rage. And bitterness. Lots and lots of bitterness.

"Sienna." Rebecca whispers softly. "I had no idea."

"Because I didn’t tell anyone. I was young and scared." I turn to face her, and I know what she sees. A woman who’s been through hell and has no fucks to give anymore.