Page 79 of Unscripted

“He said that?” I asked, eager to take advantage of our unguarded conversation while it lasted.

“Practically sang it from the rooftops,” Callum said, laughing.

I smiled down at him, thrilled that even just a few days of PDA was paying off. “Well that’s a relief,” I said.

Callum simply nodded and then dragged his hand down my side to where my mic pack sat at my waist, flicking the switch back to “ON” and ending our cone of silence before we could get in trouble for it.

But he left his hand there, wrapped around my side. My heart pounded at the touch; it felt like his palm was searing my skin from the inside out.

Not for the first time this week, I had the overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him.

But I didn’t, and instead, I simply smiled and lay back down, returning to where I had been just a moment ago.

Kissing had been, despite all our efforts to portray the image of a happy couple, the one thing that we still didn’t do.

We hadn’t kissed, hadn’t had a proper smooch, since the obstacle course game.

An inexplicable, unspoken agreement had come to pass between us that kissing on our own accord was the line we couldn’t cross. Even with Harry’s previous comment about our lack of physicality echoing around in the back of my head, and knowing firsthand just how good of kisser Callum was, I couldn’t bring myself to force that next step. Callum would peck me on the forehead, or I’d kiss him on the cheek, but the moment a situation called for anything more than that, we both pulled away.

The last person I kissed before coming on the show was my ex. After we broke up, I had been too heartbroken, and then too busy with work, to bother with a new relationship of any kind, physical or otherwise. With Callum, we had come so far and had been on such a long, bumpy road with one another, that the thought of willfully jumping to that kind of physical touch made my stomach tighten and my heart race.

Our kiss in the game had been so good and felt so right, that I knew if we were to start making out whenever we liked, there would be no turning back; it would open me up to a world of emotion I wasn’t ready for.

So I shoved it all down, any possible want or need, and tried to play the part of a devoted partner while remaining unnoticeably aloof.

It was working, too, and as the days progressed, so did our friendship. Where I had originally found Callum to be cocky and egotistical, I now saw he was just self-assured and confident. Once I realized that, it was like I couldn’t look away. Like I was some kind of delusional moth drawn to one very large, sparkling flame.

The biggest surprise, perhaps only to myself, was that I actually liked being around him. He made me laugh. He spoke nicely of our castmates. He was kind to the producers. I was finding it hard to remember why I disliked him so much in the beginning.

There was also an intoxicating relief that came in knowing he wasn’t going to leave me. That we were in this together. That I could, at the end of each and every day, completely rely on him.

I was beginning to realize that type of security had been severely lacking in my past relationship. Despite the years we spent together, my ex had never been there for me, not really. Only once I had stepped out of my regular life did I have the clarity to see the writing on the wall: I had accepted the bare minimum for far too long.

Now, I wanted more. More respect, more adventure, more everything. Not just in my romantic relationships, either, but in every aspect of life.

It was quite thrilling to realize that the change I had once been so terrified of had been the very thing to set me free. No matter where the future would take me when Bella Amore eventually came to an end, I knew that I would no longer be afraid to go after what I wanted, no matter how crazy or different or off course it might be.

It felt refreshingly wild to realize just how far I had come over the past few weeks.

I was not the same girl I was when I entered the villa.

Thank goodness for that.

***

I was contemplating just how much everything had changed, both within myself and with Callum and me, as we sat on the daybeds with Chiara and Hugh.

It was Thursday night, and we had been in the villa for four weeks. Ever since Jess had left, the Bellas banded together. We’d had two new Showstoppers, Samantha and Billy, come into the villa, but in a surprising twist, they ended up liking each other and, instead of splitting up any of the existing matches, they matched with each other. At the same time, Olivia and James had decided they were better off as friends. It was a simple conversation, no tears or yelling, and they were both happy to look ahead to who might come into the villa next.

Overall, there was peace in the air—a nice, relaxing mood that lifted everyone’s spirits.

Sitting at the cocktail party, I found myself at ease in a way I hadn’t been since the show started.

Callum and Hugh were extolling the virtues of a good, English Sunday roast to me after I had made the mistake of asking what one was twenty minutes ago, when they were interrupted by a voice over the speakers.

“Hugh, please report to the Love Shack,” said the producer.

“Duty calls,” he said, giving Chiara a kiss and then popping up off the daybed and making his way toward the villa.