Page 41 of Unscripted

We didn’t get much one-on-one time, and when we did, it was either interrupted by another Bella joining us or by James getting up to jump in the pool. Or getting a snack. Or doing a workout with the guys at the gym.

I would have thought he was avoiding me had I not been surreptitiously watching him all day and noticed he seemed to do the same with the other girls. Maybe he was just a social guy. Maybe he simply didn’t want to commit to anyone only hours into being in the villa.

Getting ready that night, I told myself I needed to calm down and that I was getting worked up over nothing. This is how they get contestants to act crazy! I told myself as I did my makeup.

I repeated that reminder to myself as we were led into the garden for the cocktail party.

After the night’s toast, given by Hugh and focusing on something called “having the sauce”—whatever that meant—I was walking over to the daybeds with Chiara when James stopped me.

“Want to go for a chat?” he asked, smiling.

See, I chided myself, I was overreacting earlier.

I nodded and followed him to the fire pit.

We sat down, and I positioned myself closer to him than I would a normal friend, leaving just a few inches of room between us so I wasn’t on top of him but near enough to signal my interest.

“So,” I asked, “How was your first full day?”

“Yeah, it was cracking. I’m buzzing being here. It’s proper mental, the whole thing,” he said.

He was three for three with the slang in just one sentence, but I found it charming.

We chatted for a few more minutes and then, after discussing how great the weather had been earlier, the conversation came to a horrifying, dead silence.

Silence, as in neither of us saying any words.

I couldn’t come up with one single thing to say. All I could think about was the chasm of quiet that seemed to grow with each passing second. The more aware I was about the awkward pause, the harder it was for me to think of something to say to break it.

Say something, I told myself. Anything, anything, anything.

Finally, not knowing what to do and with James sitting there, looking around at the landscape instead of trying to make conversation himself, I stood up.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I said.

“Yeah, cheers. See you later, then,” he nodded.

Making my way across the grass and into the villa, I let out a frustrated breath. What just happened? The conversation hadn’t been so horrible, had it? James didn’t seem to mind the way it ended. Maybe he thought it was comfortable, compatible silence.

Deep down, though, I was worried about more than the awkwardness of the moment. Had I hyped up James in my mind, wanting him to be my match so badly that I didn’t realize we weren’t compatible at all?

I hid in the bathroom for ten minutes until Harry’s voice rang out over a speaker I hadn’t known was in there, scaring the wits out of me and telling me I needed to get back outside.

20

As the cocktail party dragged on, I found myself both emotionally exhausted and hungry. Starving, actually.

I excused myself from where I was sitting with Chiara and Jess. Chiara had been going in circles about her situation with Hugh and Adam. She and Hugh had a great conversation and now Adam was giving her the cold shoulder. We had only been here a few days and she already found herself in a love triangle.

I made my way to the kitchen, which was mercifully empty. I was tapped out for the night, tired of small talk and feeling rather defeated by my dismal conversation with James.

Standing inside the pantry, the door ajar behind me, I tried to decide what late-night snack would magically cure my glum feelings.

“Hi,” a voice sounded behind me.

I almost jumped out of my skin and whipped around.

Callum was standing there, leaning against the door frame.