Page 97 of Crave

Then I looked back at his place. Lights low behind the curtains.

He meant well. I knew that. Not many blokes from his world would ever look at someone like me as if I was worth a shit, let alone patch me up, let me sleep in their bed, shower, touch, feel. Maybe it was a thrill for him. A danger. Tasting a bit of rough to make him feel alive. Or maybe he liked the idea of saving a lowlife like me.

Didn’t matter either way.

Maybe I was alright between the sheets, all those paid-for nights had taught me something, and all those stolen times with Levi. But that’s all I’d ever be. A good fuck.

Shit.

The thought hit too hard and I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, but the tears came anyway, hot and furious. I punched the steering wheel. Hard. Twice more. Pain seared. From my stab wound, yeah? But from somewhere else too. Somewhere I couldn’t fix. But I got myself together. And when I could breathe again, I pulled out my real phone. Not the burner. Keeley would know not to say anything if I called her on this one.

So I did.

The line rang twice before she answered.

“What?” she snapped, telly blaring in the background and Maisie crying somewhere else.

There wasn’t any fear in her voice. No relief either. No Where the hell have you been? No Are you alright? And that told me everything. Yeah, I went missing for days sometimes. But I always let her know what was happening either via a text, a runner, Tyler knocking on the door. Someone always told her I was still breathing.

Her irritation meant no one had and no news had reached her. She didn’t know what had gone down. How close her brother had been to leaving her for good. Which meant Darren hadn’t done what I’d told him to.

“Where are you?”

“Home. Where else d’you think I’d be?”

I’d hoped she’d be at a hotel. Far from here. Out of danger. “You alone?”

A pause. Then, quieter, “Yeah. Why?”

“Darren about?”

She exhaled hard, carrying both anger and worry. “No. Ain’t seen him since the other day, when he said he was going college.”

“Fuck.”

The word scraped out of me under my breath. I’d known it the moment Tyler’d said it but hearing it confirmed still sliced deep. Darren hadn’t gone to get Kee when I’d told him to. He’d pocketed my money and fucked off. Probably handed that cash straight to Ghost’s lot, thinking it could buy forgiveness. Balance the books. Make it right.

It wouldn’t ever be right with them.

That was what he didn’t understand. Because he was a kid. And kids had no business on the line.

I fucking hated that.

“It’s bollocks, ain’ it?” Keeley said over the line, baby closer to her now. “He’s been twitchy all week.”

“Yeah. It’s bollocks. Don’t step in my way with him again, yeah?”

“What’s going on? You sound off.”

“Nothing. Just checking in.” I rubbed a hand over my face, staring through the windscreen at the empty road ahead. “Keep the door locked, yeah? Don’t let anyone in. Not even if they say they know me. Not even if it’s Darren. And don’t go anywhere for a while. Tell Mum the same.”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“Nothing yet.” I tried to keep it even, but my pulse soared. “And if Darren shows, you call me. Straight away. You got that?”

“You think he’s in trouble?”

“I know he’s in trouble. With me.”