Page 51 of Afterglow

She was never once flustered during her wedding weekend. She was cool as a cucumber, relaxed and at ease. It was Leanne who was strung as tight as a bow. I recognize now that’s probably why Jenna was able to be the way she was, because her sister was shouldering everything.

And knowing what else she was silently carrying, it’s no wonder she wanted it over with. Not that she ever said that to her sister. Only to me, and it’s not something Jenna ever needs to know.

“We’re friends,” I offer confidently, sidling over to stand beside Leanne, offering a united front.

“Friends?” Jenna asks, dubious. I’m sure she remembers precisely how not friendly Leanne and I were at the wedding.

“Friends,” Leanne says with a nod, giving my arm a small squeeze. I feel the solidarity between us falling into place.

“Okay…” Jenna sounds unconvinced, but she drops it for the moment, changing the subject abruptly. “Why haven’t you answered any of our calls or texts? Don’t you think it’s time you stopped shutting out the family?” She looks me up and down, like it’s my fault Leanne is upset with them and hasn’t wanted to talk.

My brows knit and I tilt my head toward her. I’m really not a fan of her tone.

I’m about to say as much when Leanne steps in. “That attitude is exactly why I haven’t. You’re making this about you. I’m the one who’s pregnant. I’m the one having to figure this out. Of course I want you all to be part of it, but when I’m ready. I wasn’t ready to tell you last week, and you guys took that choice away from me.”

Jenna’s eyes go wide. I doubt Leanne has ever been this blunt with her. “I… That isn’t what we meant to do. You were sick, and we were worried.”

“No, you were curious.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “You could’ve trusted that if I wanted you to know what was going on, I would’ve told you. You could’ve respected me, but instead, you pushed and pushed, and now I don’t ever get to have that moment back. I won’t ever get to tell Mom and Dad they’re going to be grandparents for the first time.” The hurt in her voice breaks my heart almost as much as the silver sheen at her lash line. She gestures between herself and Jenna when she continues. “And we don’t get to have the moment of excitement and jumping up and down because you and Evelyn are going to be aunts. So now, on top of figuring out what it looks like to be a parent unexpectedly, I get to grieve those moments that could’ve been.”

Jenna is slack-jawed and her eyes are wet as the realization of exactly how hurt Leanne is settles over her. I’m a little slack-jawed myself. I didn’t even think about the whole explosive revelation with her family in this way, at what she lost by not being able to control the delivery of the news. This is something she’s always wanted, and nothing about it has gone the way she once envisioned it would.

Does she also grieve the loss of getting to tell her significant other she’s pregnant for the first time? Over the phone, blurted out in panic with me, is likely not how she pictured that moment. And me barging into her house a half hour later likely wasn’t it either.

The sadness I feel for her makes my heart constrict painfully in my chest. I got to have that moment once, and it was one of the best moments of my life—even after all I lost—and she’ll never have it. Even my experience in telling Alex and Delia last week was better than what she got with her family.

Jenna sniffles and it brings me back to our messy reality.

She’s looking at Leanne like she’s never seen her before. “I’m so sorry, Annie. I’m sorry for all of us. You’re right, it wasn’t our place.” She looks truly heartsick as one tear rolls down her cheek.

Leanne huffs and her shoulders soften as she closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around her sister. I step to the side but catch something in Leanne’s face I wouldn’t have been able to read before our conversation earlier.

Leanne loves Jenna. She loves her family. She doesn’t like this tension between them any more than they do. But here she is comforting Jenna, in a situation where it should be the other way around. The focus is, once again, not on Leanne, because it never is.

And with that, I vow to do everything in my power to make sure it always is with me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Leanne

Jenna

I’m really sorry about Friday.

I talked to Mom and Dad and we’d really love it if you came to dinner tonight. Please?

I know I need to talk to them—clear the air—but even after two days, I feel raw and exposed after running into Jenna at the baby store. I feel raw after everything I shared with Bryce too. I just feel raw all over. But avoiding this isn’t going to fix anything.

Me

Okay.

No red meat, please.

When I pull up outside my parents’ house several hours later, my dread has dissipated and a reluctant optimism has taken root. The news is out there now, and I can only hope my family will choose to be supportive—like I’ve always supported them. Or I’ll be inundated by judgmental questions and disappointed looks for getting pregnant from a one-night stand.

Did Jenna tell them about Bryce? Probably.

My jeans are just this side of too tight around my stomach and I’m already planning to unbutton them the moment we sit down for dinner. I’m counting on the cozy purple sweater I pulled on to cover it so no one’s the wiser.