Page 39 of Afterglow

“How long have you known?” Alex asks, gaze bouncing between us.

“Three weeks…” I admit.

Becca says, “Same.”

“And how far along is she?” Delia asks.

“Eleven weeks.”

I finally reach for my fork, because now that the big announcement is out, I’m starving.

Alex nods and picks up his own fork, asking between bites, “So, when do we get to meet her?”

My head jerks up in surprise. I wasn’t expecting that. I quickly swallow the bite of food in my mouth and answer, “I-I don’t know. I wasn’t sure…”

“Of course we want to meet her. Rebecca’s met her. She’s part of your life now, and that makes her family.” The matter-of-fact way Delia says this fills me with an overwhelming sense of peace.

I had no idea how much I needed those words. To be told that even with everything we’ve been through—even though I’ve never doubted that we are family—this wouldn’t be the thing to wedge us apart.

My vision blurs as I navigate the overwhelm. I’m not an emotional guy usually, but damn if the relief washing through my body doesn’t feel like a cleansing breath of fresh air.

“Oh gosh,” Delia says, jumping up from her chair to come around for an embrace. Alex follows suit and we’re a big mess of limbs—hugging and crying like we’re in a Hallmark movie or something.

“Sorry,” I say, gulping air and swiping at my cheeks with the back of my hand. “I should’ve known you’d be amazing about this.”

“You might not be our son by blood, but you’ve been part of this family for over twenty years.”

“But Sarah—” My voice cracks on her name.

“Bryce.” Delia takes my face in her hands. “We love you. Sarah loved you. She would want you to be happy. She would be thrilled to know you get to be a dad; she wanted that dearly for you.”

All I can do is nod as the emotion clogs my throat further.

“Fuck, this is embarrassing,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.

We all break apart as a bubble of laughter expands around us, taking up the space the tension was inhabiting and leaving behind a soft anticipation of what comes next.

A contented silence descends while we all finally tuck into the amazing dinner Delia prepared before it gets cold.

Alex clears his throat once the ravenous eating gradually tapers. “Does Leanne know…?” He’s cautious with his words and his tone, but I can hear the grief in them regardless. “About Sarah… and Sam?”

A soft spot in my heart twinges and I inhale deeply, finding Alex’s gaze across the table. “I told her about Sarah—she wanted to understand my connection to Becca. But I haven’t told her about Sam yet…” I struggle to even get his name out. The son I lost. It’s a name that lives in my head and my heart but rarely finds its way past my lips. “I can’t… I don’t know how…”

“It’s okay, Bryce,” he says with sad eyes.

“It doesn’t feel okay. I don’t want to keep things from her, but I’m afraid it will freak her out. Dammit, it freaks me out.” I run my hands through my hair, sucking in a deep breath.

“That’s understandable,” Becca says. “You didn’t only lose Sarah, you lost a baby too, and now in the face of another pregnancy… it could be triggering for you. But if she doesn’t understand why you’re having anxiety over it, it will make things harder.”

“I know that, I do,” I say, trying to convince not only her but myself. “But our relationship is already so fragile. I don’t want my past to overshadow what she’s going through right now. What if she thinks… What if she thinks I’m trying to replace them?”

“Are you?” Alex asks.

“Fuck no,” I shout, and shame immediately churns in my gut. This isn’t his fault. “Sorry. God, I’m a mess. No part of this is about replacing Sarah and Sam.”

The idea of that repulses me. They’re a part of who I am, always. I’ve grieved, and the heaviness of their absence isn’t as weighty as it used to be, but I’d never want it to completely disappear. That doesn’t mean I don’t have enough space in my heart for something new—for something that feels at once completely different and entirely right.

“We know that,” Delia says.