Page 95 of Paradigm

“Arlowe, I should go. We start boarding in thirty minutes, and it’s an international flight.”

“I know,” she replied. “I was just thinking of something romantic to say, like you wanted, but all I can think of is the fact that I’m not going to see you for a while, and I’m still a little angry about that.”

“Oh, babe…” Eline pulled her in by the belt loops. “I know. Me too. But this is the right thing to do for both of us.”

“Is this what you felt like when I was leaving for the airport that day?” Arlowe asked.

“Yes, except I didn’t have the courage to drop you off then like you’re doing today.”

“Well, we weren’t going to talk for a long time and had broken up. I think it’s a little easier for me.”

“Really?”

“No,” she replied and felt the first of what would inevitably be many tears fall.

Eline wiped it away with her thumb, cupped her cheek after, leaned in, and pressed her forehead to Arlowe’s.

“This time, though, we’re going to be okay. I know you’re still mad. I can’t change that. But just know that you are who I want and that if I felt like any of the other options were better for us and our future, I would’ve stayed.”

Arlowe nodded, unable to say anything.

“I will call you when I get home.”

“Okay,” Arlowe replied.

“Now, kiss me.”

Arlowe pressed her lips to Eline’s and kissed her with everything she had. She wanted to remember the feel of her lips, the taste of her, how good Eline smelled, and what she sounded like when she gave a small, short moan. She kissed her, trying to tell Eline that she loved her without saying the actual words yet because Eline had been insistent that they be ready to take the big steps and not force them, so she kept it to herself, planning to tell her the next time they saw one another or when Eline’s visa was approved because she knew that it was true. Yes, they still had things to learn about each other, but what they felt for one another hadn’t changed since school, and it wouldn’t. They had the kind of love that was meant to last, so when she pulled out of the kiss and pressed one to Eline’s forehead, she sniffled and tried her best to hide her sadness, wanting to be strong for her right now because she remembered what it had been like to have to be the one getting on the plane and having hours in the air, sitting next to a stranger, to get through. At least, she’d be going home and could cry in the privacy of her own bedroom.

“I’ll call you,” Eline said.

“Okay,” she replied.

“God, I’ll miss you.”

Eline pressed a quick kiss to her lips, turned around, and walked toward the security line.

Arlowe stood there, watching her not look back, and she understood why. Soon, Eline was in the security line, and the crowd was too thick for Arlowe to be able to see her still, but she stayed rooted in that spot, staring up at the departures board above her head, until the plane left the airport. Then, she turned around and slowly walked back to her car, where she got in and started it up, hoping that she could hold back her sobbing until she got home. When she got there, though, she found Enya, Violet, and Sarai sitting on the sofa, waiting for her.

“Hey,” she greeted without emotion.

“We can go if you want, but we wanted to be here in case you needed to talk,” Sarai said.

“Is it just you, or are your girlfriends here, too?” Arlowe asked, flopping on the other sofa.

“Just us,” Violet replied.

“How are you? I know; stupid question,” Enya said.

“Are you picking up Eline’s car later?”

“Sarai is going to drive me over there. I have the keys. I was going to park it on the street. I hope that’s okay. I forgot to mention it before.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad she’s keeping it. It’ll just be a pretty much daily reminder that my girlfriend is not here.”

“Arlowe, we were talking earlier,” Violet said, leaning forward on the couch.

“Yeah? About me, I take it? Worried my misery is going to affect my work?”