Page 10 of A Shared Mind

I knew abso-fucking-lutely nothing about crops or farming. I tried to block it out of my mind, as a matter of fact, because growing up in an agriculture-based small town reminded me of all the closed minds that had made my life a living hell until I got away from it. I wished Clay the best of luck with that mentality, though.

Kid! No, no, no. You gotta act interested in shit she’s—I mean, he’s—interested in. Act, being the operative word in that sentence. Now, keep asking him questions. Go on!

“Your parents, uh, do they live near you?” God, I was really insightful. Was I actually listening to that voice in my head?

“Mom does. She lives in a little house on the property in the back. My father passed away seven years ago. I’ve been nervous—or lazy—about setting up a financial plan, but when Steve called me about his mother’s passing, I figured I needed to get in gear and quit putting it off.”

“Ah, that’s right. She just passed. That’s why Steve was unable to meet with you, I suppose.”

Clay finished his drink and placed the empty glass on the table. “Oh, uh, I guess Steve didn’t tell you that I requested someone other than him to look after my investments. Don’t get me wrong, Steve and Melissa are wonderful people, and after they wrapped their heads around the idea of me and Hunter getting married, they were great to me. They’ve stayed in touch for all these years, and it’s nice to have people care about me and want to be supportive.”

That was interesting. I’d assumed I was pinch hitting for Steve because of the death in the family. “Of course.”

Clay cleared his throat. “Steve said he’d oversee your work, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share too much of my personal information with him because it’s unhealthy for us to stay in that space—that space of loss and grief—or so my grief therapist told me.”

That hit home. If that handsome farmer went to a therapist, then I could surely do it.

Not so fast, Kid. We’ve got shit to do before you spread out on the couch. Don’t forget what I need from you. I’ll take over if I gotta. Don’t forget that.

Who’s taking over what now?

Chapter Five

Clay Fines

I stopped my truck to allow the towering black metal gates of Willow Creek Cemetery to open. It was my last errand before heading back to Sterling City, and I’d been dreading the visit since I’d left home. It triggered another mourning period which got harder every time I made the trip.

After parking in the first open spot on the parking lot, I scanned the area, surprised to see a dozen or so cars at the cemetery at such an early hour. It was my semi-annual trip to visit Hunter, and my heart was in my throat, just as it had been every six months since I lost him.

Making the trek to Kansas City twice a year was becoming harder to do. I’d promised Hunter at the graveside service that I’d never forget him, and I’d always love him. In my heart, I didn’t think I’d ever hit the bottom of the pit of despair I’d carried over Hunter’s senseless death. It would leave a hole in my heart forever.

I walked through the archway at the gate with the bouquet of white tulips I’d brought and headed to the Korr family mausoleum. After opening the large wrought-iron gate, I stepped inside, stopping at the second bench in front of Hunter’s marker.

Once I removed the dead white roses from the vase anchored to Hunter’s plaque, probably placed there by his mother, I poured in some water from the bottle I’d brought before sliding the tulips inside. “Hi, sweetheart. I miss you.”

Sitting on the bench across from the marker, I steepled my fingers together and rested my forearms on my thighs. “Your grandmother passed, but maybe you know that already, sweetheart. Steven and Mel went to St. Louis for the service, which is why I chose now to come to town. I think Betsy wanted to be buried with your grandfather at Jefferson Barracks, but when your father called to tell me about it, he didn’t give me many details. It seemed like he didn’t want me to come, so I didn’t push it.”

The beautiful sound of Hunter’s laughter rang through my head in reminder of happier times, and I turned to my right. Hunter sat down next to me and gave me that gorgeous grin and wink I always loved.

We’ve got to stop meeting like this, Clay. The echo of his voice through my mind brought a smile to my face.

“No shit, honey. I know you’re not really here, but how are you?” Remembering Hunter’s smile always brought me comfort.

There are so many things I wish I could say, Clay, but the most important things are all that’s necessary. It’s been five years, my love. It’s time for you to let me go.

“You know I can’t do that, Hunter.”

My heart felt as though it was being torn from my chest at the mere thought of leaving him behind. He’d been my life since we met in college. Without him, I had no reason for doing anything more than existing to care for my mother.

Yes, you can. There’s someone new in your life who you need to let in. He’s important to you, Clay, or he will be. We will always love each other, but the heart has an infinite capacity for love. I know you’ll always love me, and I still feel it in my heart. Clay, there’s someone who needs your love more. Give him a chance.

I laughed. “Give who a chance?”

Hunter grinned. You’ll know who very soon. I love you. Stay open minded.

My eyes opened, and I glanced around to see I was still in the mausoleum. It had been a busy couple of days, so I guessed I’d dozed off. I stood from the bench and stepped toward the plaque, placing my hand on the brass plate that held his name.

“I love you, Hunter. Always.”