Page 84 of Watching the Earl

“I hope to.” He gave her a nod then started down the corridor to the back of the house. When he opened the door to the garden and stepped out onto the top step, he stopped, his heart thudding in his chest.

Georgina sat as still as the bench beneath her, watching a bird on a bush no more than two feet away. Her brown hair was pulled back neatly, showing her long neck. Her light green day gown had her appearing like a fairy in her own domain. She was even more beautiful than he remembered—or maybe she seemed so because he could lose her. Her cheeks were fuller and her hands, one on the bench and one on her lap, were still. She was far beyond beautiful. She had a sharp mind and a tender heart, and he had trampled all over both.

He set the birdcage on the top step and quietly walked down, not wishing to startle her or the little bird she watched. He had just reached the ground when the bird hopped back into the bush. “Georgina?”

She didn’t turn to look at him. “Philip.”

Did she not look at him because it hurt or because he made her angry? He took a step closer. “I’ve come to apologize for my rash words. I did not think. I…I’m trying to learn to think first instead of react.”

“That is good of you. I accept your apology. Now will you annul our marriage? Sophie said that you wouldn’t unless you could talk to me.”

He’d have to thank Lady Tamworth for wording it in just that way—no doubt that was why Georgina had agreed to see him—but that she still wanted an annulment made his stomach tense. He took a few more steps closer, wanting more than anything to hold her in his arms, inhale her light pansy scent, and gaze into her fascinating eyes, but she still wouldn’t look at him.

“Georgina, I knew you wouldn’t have told your secret on purpose. And when you said you hadn’t, I knew you told the truth. But instead of calmly discussing who might have, I reacted horribly. I admit, it took me a few days to understand why, but it came to me in bits, just like that little bird hopped a bit closer to you.”

Her hands, which had been still, were no longer. She now clasped them, and one thumb rubbed the back of the other, but despite what he was sure was her curiosity, she didn’t speak or look at him. At least he knew she listened.

He began to pace toward her and back, but not in front of her. “I slowly realized that I had traded one strong emotion for the other. I went from guilt about my father to an obsessive need to keep the family name untarnished. When that complete focus failed, I lashed out at the one person who could not only understand my thought process, but who could help me save everything. Instead of us finding a solution together, you had to do it on your own.”

“The rumor is dead.” Her voice was stoic, as if there were no emotion left inside her. That scared him.

“Yes, the rumor is dead, and Ashfield has been thrown out of White’s. I almost was too, for hitting him in self-defense, but a few men spoke for me. I probably should have been thrown out. I’m no gentleman if I can talk to my wife as I did to you.”

He stopped pacing as he noticed her hands now clutching at her dress. “When I found you gone, I immediately searched for you. The more people that told me you were fine, the angrier I got. I needed to see you, to make things better for you. The fact that you didn’t want to see me was devastating. I hated not knowing where you were.”

Still she didn’t look at him, and his hope dwindled.

“The owners of the townhouse contacted me and accepted our offer. I signed the paperwork. I always want you to feel you have a home, even if you’re angry at me. The townhouse is yours. I will move out of it today if you tell me to, though you do have some guests at the moment.”

“Sophie.” Though Georgina still didn’t look at him, he could see her knee moving up and down. It was barely perceptible, but it was there. He was sure of it.

“Yes, Lord and Lady Tamworth are there. Who’s not there is you. With you gone, I realized something very important.”

She readjusted her skirts, but still didn’t ask him anything.

His heart started to pound. Wanting her to acknowledge him in some way, he stepped up next to her, though she continued to look at the bush where the bird had perched. “What I realized is that nothing is more important to me than you—not guilt, not friends, not money, not even family reputation. You’re the most important part of my life. In fact, I told my mother the truth about my gambling and that I had to marry you for your dowry. I told her because I’m willing to let all of Society know how I failed and you saved us. I don’t care what others think of me or my family name. All I care about is having you in my life. If that is what it takes to have you back, I’m happy to do so. Just tell me when.”

Finally, she turned her head to look at him, her eyes locked on his, unblinking. He gazed into them, wishing her to see the sincerity of his words.

She studied him for what seemed like hours, but it had to have been merely minutes. Then she cocked her head. “Tomorrow.”

He pulled his head back. “Tomorrow what?”

“Let everyone know you married me for my dowry.”

No smile quirked her lips. She was completely serious.

He pulled himself up to his full height. “I will. I will start at White’s then visit Lady Dulac. She is excellent at spreading gossip.”

“And will you also tell them you expected to suffer with me as your wife?”

He grimaced. “If you so wish, but I will be clear that you became my joy instead. As long as you come home with me, I will do anything.”

She looked away, readjusting her skirts again as if they weren’t perfect, as if she wasn’t perfect for him.

Unable to wait any longer, he knelt before her and took one of her hands in both his own. “Georgina, if I could marry you again, I would. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but I’m asking for one anyway. You’re the only thing I’ve done right since I left Oxford, and I can’t let you go. My nest is empty without you in it. You’re truly my phoenix, and while I may not be your equal, I’m sure my feathers will molt and I’ll change for the better. I won’t be perfect, but I’ll keep trying and you can guide me.”

Her gaze returned to his face. Then she gave the smallest of nods and her lips lifted.