Page 81 of Watching the Earl

“And what if he won’t grant you an annulment?”

She blinked, having not considered that. “Why wouldn’t he? He knows he no longer needs me, and your family’s reputation is improving now that he’s stopped gambling.”

As she said the words, the true reality of why he’d wedded her became starkly clear. She left out the latest rumor about her, since that was hopefully being taken care of. But it didn’t excuse the fact that he’d accused her of causing it.

Berry let go of her hand and sat back in her chair. “Georgie, I admire you and, at the moment, think much less of my brother. However, I do know him. He may have married you to make himself feel better about what he’d thought he’d done, and I’m sure he was so selfish that he blamed you the moment problems arose, but I also know he feels deeply and is very loyal. He’s not only been true to my parents but also to me, though I didn’t speak to him for months after our father passed. He’s also been caring about our tenants, and I know he loves you as well, even if he may not seem to at the moment. He does have a tendency to react and not think until after the fact.”

Could Berry be right? If the rumor was stifled, maybe that would mean he still loved her…or was it to save his family’s reputation?

The tiny spark of hoped died as quickly as it appeared. She shook her head. “I think he will grant the annulment.”

“Well, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like. In the meantime, you may need to write him to tell him where you are, or there is no way for him to grant your request.”

In her emotional upheaval, she hadn’t even thought of that. “I suppose you’re right, but not yet. I just need some time to plan my future first—and maybe sit in your courtyard? I’m curious as to what birds your shrubs attract.”

“Of course. I’m sure the birds will enjoy the company. And then maybe this afternoon, you can start teaching me about estate management? My husband will be at Tattersalls this afternoon, so we wouldn’t be interrupted.” Berry winked, reminding Georgina of the duchess.

She had promised to explain to Berry what she remembered, and it would at least take her mind from her troubles for a short while. “I’d be happy to teach you what I know.”

“Wonderful. Now, I must tell you what I heard when I was at the modiste on St. James’s Street yesterday. Did you know that one of the Worthington sisters has accepted a proposal from Lord Landon? I can’t imagine what the other will do without…”

Georgina half listened as Berry regaled her with the latest gossip, obviously not having heard what Ashfield had spread yet. What if Philip didn’t claim it a lie? No, she didn’t have to worry on that account. He would, if only to save his family’s reputation.

She should have known her life had been far too good since marrying him. There was something wrong with her; a man could not know her and want her. Philip had said he loved her, but she wasn’t sure he knew what love was. It was standing by one’s spouse and facing challenges together, not just enjoying life. If only she didn’t love him…even now.

“…then Lady Dulac said that Lady Arabella came to Lady Blanford’s ball. Can you imagine attending a ball when one cannot walk?”

At Arabella’s name, Georgina refocused. “If Arabella went to the ball, she had a very good reason. Knowing her as I do, I believe she is looking for prospective husbands. She plans to walk again, no matter what the physicians say, and with Lady Rose by her side, I don’t doubt she will. If I were a man, I’d bet on that.”

Berry’s brows rose. “I admire her spirit. Maybe I’ll pay her a call. She is Lord and Lady Inwood’s daughter, is she not?”

“She is. But she’s not staying with her parents this Season. I believe her mother has given up on her, so she’s staying with Lady Rose at Lord and Lady Harewood’s.”

“Harewood? I’m not sure I know the Harewoods.”

“I’d be happy to introduce you…while I’m still in Town.” She took the final swallow of her cocoa and rose. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to walk in your garden.”

“Of course. Georgie, I do hope that you will have all that you wish.”

She gave a nod and walked out of the room, through the townhouse, and into the back garden. It wasn’t particularly large, but it was beautifully done, with small trees, rosebushes not yet budding, and a bench at the center. She didn’t wish to sit, so she strolled slowly, not wanting to disturb any of the birds. A few perched in the trees and a couple hopped along the wall.

She counted three house sparrows in the trees, two starlings on the roof next door, a Eurasian blackbird on the one wall and a robin on the other, and one blue tit searched the juncture where two large slabs met in the wall. They were the usual birds to be found in the spring in London, and their consistency helped soothe her soul. She stopped and simply watched as the blue tit poked and searched along the laid stonework for a crevice to nest in. Finding none, she flew to one of the trees, inspecting it thoroughly until, finding it lacking, flying off into the neighboring garden.

Georgina finally sat on the bench and observed the birds as they flitted about. They didn’t mind that she was there, and they went about their activity oblivious to the heartache she felt deep inside. How did birds do it, pairing up for a year and then moving on to another? Only swans and geese, that she knew of, paired for life. If only she was truly a bird who could give her heart to someone different each Season. But she was a human, and she feared her heart was broken. The man she loved couldn’t love her, not if he could so quickly think she had lied, and certainly not if he considered her his penance.

Tears began to gather again, and she angrily wiped them away with the back of her hand. She would not bring her sorrow to the birds. Rising, she returned to the house and the room Berry had given her. Maybe she just needed some rest.

*

Four hours later, Georgina found herself entering Berry’s parlor, having been told she had a caller. Assuming it was one of her friends, she strode in—only to stop at the sight of the dowager Durham.

“There you are, Georgie.” The dowager rose and walked to her, holding her hands out.

Georgina clasped them then let go.

“I have been quite worried about you. Come, sit with us.”

Georgina looked at Berry, who gave a reassuring nod. She sat in a straight-back chair opposite the dowager. “I apologize for worrying you. That was not my intent.”