Page 75 of Under Restless Skies

“Maybe,” I mutter. The wine has numbed my shock, but might have numbed me too much. I get up, feeling light and warm and slightly tipsy. “I’d better go.”

“Stay.” He takes my glass and puts it on the counter, beside his, then stands in front of me, a hand reaching for my hair. “Please, stay,” he pleads.

I’m too overwhelmed to fight him, too stunned to react, and I close my eyes, reveling in his touch. His fingers move to my face, my lips, then back to my hair until they’re tangled on the nape of my neck, pulling me closer.

I should resist.

I’m tired of resisting.

His lips touch mine, and my hands find his chest—to push him away, I think, except that my fingers curl into the fabric of his jacket.

My mouth opens against his, and I feel the warmth of his tongue and the faint sweetness of the wine still on his lips. Meanwhile, his arms find my waist and pull me in, so close, the feeling so comforting, soothing, like when he held me in that cave.

The truth is that I’ve wanted this touch since that moment, perhaps since I first laid eyes on him.

Perhaps it’s too soon, but there’s no coming back from this. We can’t unkiss and pretend nothing happened. I can’t pretend I don’t feel anything for him. Not anymore, no. The time for lies and self-delusion is gone, and I yield to that desire, that ravenous part of me wanting and wanting—wanting Alayel.

His mouth grows hungrier as he walks me backward until my knees hit the edge of his bed, until the world tilts and I find myself lying on his soft covers, the weight of him pressing me down.

Something inside me warms and uncoils, something wild, finally set free. Why should I resist him? Why should I deprive myself of this moment, of this pleasure?

It’s like he senses the shift in me, as a smirk forms on the corner of his mouth and he devours me with his eyes. I want to be devoured. In fact, I want to be fucked.

His smirk sharpens as his fingers hook into the neckline of my dress and yank—hard, tearing the side seams. My brassiere is exposed, but not for long, as he pulls it down, revealing my breasts.

He pauses for a moment, taking me in, his ravenous eyes drinking every inch of my exposed skin, until he palms my breasts. Then his mouth is there, his tongue caressing my nipple, creating a trail of heat from his lips to my core.

I’m lost in the warmth of it—until I’m not here at all.

I’m on the island, and it’s not his tongue but something vast and strange and magical that drags slowly over my breasts with a soothing, healing touch, awakening a fire in my lower belly.

Then I’m in the hallway, the rider on top of me, his hands holding my wrists, but the fire in his eyes is not hate, but desire. His chest presses against mine, and I realize I’m naked, basking in the feel of his chest against my nipples, his hips between my legs.

His what?

I surface back on Alayel’s bed, my body trembling, horrified at my thoughts, at myself, at the way those memories became distorted and strange.

“Something wrong?” There’s concern in Alayel’s voice and worry in his eyes.

If he knew what has just crossed my mind, he’d be a thousand times more concerned.

But then Alayel’s words come to me, smug and pretentious: I want you naked in my bed, legs spread for me.

The memory is like a bucket of water hitting me, breaking a spell.

His hands grasping my breasts feel wrong, so I push them away and sit up. “Sorry. I… It was a tough day.”

He caresses my hair. “I know. And it’s fine. We don’t have to do anything. I got too carried away and I’m sorry.”

The earnestness in his voice makes me regret pushing him. “It’s not your fault. I’m just… still in shock.”

He takes my hand and kisses it. “It’s understandable. You almost died.”

I didn’t, though. The rider said he wasn’t going to kill me, but it’s true that I could have gotten seriously hurt.

“Yes…” I pull up the dress, but I think Alayel ripped it too much, and it’s loose on my chest, so I have to hold it with my hand. “I need to rest.”

He kisses my cheek. “You deserve rest after your extraordinary feat today, but you deserve a queen’s bed. Stay here.”