Page 107 of Under Restless Skies

He nods, his eyes distant. Is he wondering what could have been? Regretting not having tried to talk to me? Or is he, like me, feeling the odd pain of having a broken heart stitched together, after being used to its cracks for so long?

His chest moves up and down slowly and he closes his eyes as if getting rid of a weight. When he faces me again, his features are open, friendly, even if his gaze no longer carries any sign of deeper affection. “I would say I’m sorry that I moved on, but it seems that you also did. Still, please know that I would never have abandoned you. I did love you, Mayara. Loved you with all the innocence of a first love. I thought there would be only you.”

“I loved you too.” The words are meant to soothe his heart. Instead, they’re a balsam to my chest, undoing the heavy shield I had raised around it.

I loved him—with all my heart. And it feels so much better to recognize that I felt everything, even if it didn’t end up well, than to pretend I’ve always been numb.

“I didn’t want to make you cry,” he says.

“It feels good.” And yet the feeling is overwhelming, so I want to change the subject. “If you took notes about the academy and had tips for me, is there something you can share?”

“Pay attention to the classes and trust Foros, is all I can say. I thought that there was a secret, that if you did things a certain way, you could increase your odds of surviving. Now, I don’t know. You have to hope it’s not your day to go, and if it’s your day, make sure you don’t have too many mistakes when Thantos measures your deeds.”

“That’s… not encouraging.”

“It is what it is. Weren’t you the one who said you wouldn’t mind dying in a blast of dragon fire? Who knows? You might have your chance.” There’s something slightly flippant in his tone, perhaps some remaining resentment for my insistence on joining the academy, but I can’t change that.

“Have you flown? In an attack?”

“Not yet.”

“Does the princess⁠—”

“Don’t mention her.” His tone shifts, a hint of threat beneath his words.

“I was just wondering⁠—”

“Don’t wonder.”

That same tone, that same sharp edge I had never seen in him before, and I just wanted to know if the princess helps him avoid being picked to fly.

I glare at him. “I can’t ask you about your friends?”

“Rumors are dangerous.”

“And yet you said you moved on, didn’t you? It means you love someone.”

A dangerous glint lights his eyes. “And that must stay between us. Whatever happens, don’t ever mention it to anyone, most of all to the bastard prince. If you ever felt anything for me, you’ll respect my wishes.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” Then, I add, “You don’t like Alayel.”

Marcus crosses his arms. “I don’t trust him, and I don’t think you should trust him either, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s clear you like him, and, despite his flaws, I think he might like you too. Just… be careful.”

“I am being careful.”

He snorts, an odd anger changing his features, making him look completely different from the man I met at the restaurant. “Not everyone has a pure heart like you, Mayara. This place, it can be ruthless. Alayel’s a recently recognized prince, hungry for the throne, and I’m sure he’ll squash anyone who stands in his way. Make sure it’s not you.”

“Doesn’t it upset you? That there’s a new contender to the throne?”

“No. And I mean it. There are… more pieces at work.”

“And you won’t tell me about them.” I swallow, trying to push down my annoyance.

“I can’t, Mayara.” Regret coats his voice. “But you’re safe. You would have been safer in the restaurant, but if it’s true you’re not going to fly, then you’re safe. At least for now.” He pauses, then sighs. “I’ll leave this room first, and if I don’t come back in thirty seconds, you can leave too. It means the hallway is clear. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”