Page 141 of Break Me

Silence settles over the room.

I wait until he's looking at me again. "I'm not going to do chemotherapy."

His entire body goes still. "What?"

"I'm not doing treatment."

Disbelief hardens into rage. "Why the hell not?"

"Because it won't change where this ends."

"It could give you more time."

"A little."

"A little is still time."

"I know."

"Then why wouldn't you take it?"

I swallow against the ache in my throat. "Because I don't want whatever time I have left to belong to hospitals. I don't want to spend my last weeks sick from treatments that can't save me when I could be living the life I still have."

"That isn't your decision to make."

"It has to be,” I say quietly.

"You don't get to just give up."

The words hurt because I know where they came from.

"I'm not giving up."

"It sure as hell sounds like it."

I shake my head. "I'm choosing how I spend the time I have left."

"Oh, that's great." Knox lets out a short, humorless laugh. "That's real comforting."

He stares at me. For the first time since we walked into this office, he doesn't have another argument. His shoulders sag beneath the weight of everything he can't fix.

"Jesus, Rae..."

The anger is gone.

All that's left is my brother.

"You're my little sister."

My throat tightens. "I know."

He shakes his head once, his eyes never leaving mine.

"You can't..." His voice catches. He swallows hard and tries again. "You can't leave me."

The words find every place inside me that's already breaking.

I don't remember crossing the room. One second we're standing apart, the next my arms are around him. For the briefest moment, he doesn't move.