Page 103 of Remember Me

December 31st 2023

Another New Year sat in watching the ball drop. I won’t stay awake to see it, I know. Jake’s on an away series, but we spoke earlier. He wanted to check I received his latest postcard of Toronto. I love receiving his postcards, living vicariously through him while he’s seeing these places, even if it is just an ice hockey rink. I’ve made my intentions for 2024 and the number one thing for me is to finally tell Jake how I feel. I’ve been getting some more friendly vibes this year, but maybe I’m imagining it. No more chickening out or running away. I’m going to do it. I need to know if there’s a possibility of more for us…

Oh my god. Struggling to breathe through my tears where my throat has tightened. I can’t believe it. Every entry is about him, and it’s clear to see how important and crucial a part of my life he’s played.

I wish he was here right now so I could show him everything. All these memories are now swirling around me clear as day. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t fully recall some of them, but I know enough now, and even if I didn’t, it’s all here in black and white.

I’m sitting here surrounded by journals and postcards; what am I doing still sitting here? I check my watch—shit, it’s 3 p.m. I need to tell Jake I love him and if he’s moving to Jackson, I’m coming too.

Life is too short for what ifs when it turns out I’ve loved Jake for a lifetime.

Carefully climbing down the stairs, I grab my car keys and slam the door behind me.

Turning on the ignition, “In My Head” by Jason Derulo plays, and I remember it’s a mixed tape Jake made for me when I passed my drivers exam. Smiling, I put my foot down and tear out of my driveaway.

I’m going to get my man.

Chapter 70

Jake

Where is she?

Kayla text to let me know Lottie was driving herself to the game, and then text again to let me know—with minutes before I need to take to the ice for warmups—she’s still not here.

I knew there was something up earlier; she was tense when I touched her and distant when we watched our show. I feel like she’s slipping away, and I don’t know why.

There’s no time to think about this now, I need to get my head on straight, I can’t have a loss on my shoulders.

Leaving the locker room, still with no word on Lottie, I go to start my warmup. We’re passing the puck, stretching, practicing our shots with the goalie when a commotion catches my attention and the rest of the team’s.

It’s her. Banging on the plexiglass, calling my name. I immediately abandon what I’m doing and race over to her.

“Lottie, baby. What’re you doing? Where have you been?” I ask, concerned. I’m checking her over to see if there is anything wrong, but all I see is the biggest, brightest smile adorning her beautiful face.

“I overheard you on the phone this morning. About you being traded to Jackson.”

Shit, she overheard that? No wonder she’s been weird all day.

“Sweetheart, it’s not-” I don’t get a chance to finish.

“I’ll come with you, J. I-I love you.”

“Say that again.” My heart is going like the clappers right now. I need to hear her say it again.

“I love you, Jake. I read all my adult journals, and one thing was consistent and that was my feelings for you. You’re my home, J. It’s not a place, it’s a feeling, and it’s a feeling you give me. So, if you’re being traded, then I’m coming too,” she quickly gets her words out before taking a deep breath.

I rest my forehead against the plexiglass, and she does the same. “God, I love you, Lottie, but I’m not being traded.”

“Y-you’re not?”

“Nope.” I pop the P and grin at her.

She looks so confused. “I don’t understand.”

“My agent was calling to tell me I’m not up for selection for the draft as the Seals want to extend my contract. I’m not going anywhere. But I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say you love me.”

“I should have told you sooner. I knew I felt it, but it was like those journals were the final puzzle piece, you know?”