Page 12 of Knot Their Soldier: Part Three

I stay until the library closes. Until the database times out. Until my Prime Alpha calls a retreat.

Tonight, for the first time, I understand the appeal of closing the book myself.

I watch Knox follow Viper until they disappear into the forest, and then return to sitting beside Halley.

The air is still, almost reverent. I don’t know if the camp has emptied, or if everyone is quiet as a sign of respect, but the night is peaceful.

Halley's skin is cool, and her lips are pale. She hasn't gone rigid yet, not enough time has passed, but it won't be long.

I expected her to look more dead. Instead, she looks like she's sleeping. The blood spoils the illusion, so I set about the task of cleaning her, wiping away the evidence of our failure.

I use my canteen to wet a roll of gauze from the medic kit sitting uselessly beside me and gently rub away the red from her arms, chest, neck, and face. The water mixes with the blood on the ground and turns pink.

"Baby girl, you didn't deserve to die here like this." I speak to her softly, the same way I would if she were alive, and it's almost like I can hear her voice in my head again.

'I wanted to be here, Shade,' she'd say. 'I wanted to make a difference.'

A rueful laugh escapes me, and I shake my head.

She did make a difference. Just not in the way she thought she would.

I have the data to prove it if anyone ever asks. Knox learned how to bend his rules without breaking. Viper learned there was more to his future than a bullet. Blaze learned to care for something other than himself.

And me?

I started planning for a life after the war.

That was reckless of me.

In some ways, she's more of a soldier than most I've met. Doggedly loyal and determined to help her Omega friends, sacrificing her own happiness to save their lives.

My ears strain for the gunshot I know is coming. The forest is still silent, the trees swaying in the dark, so I keep wiping our Omega clean.

"I bet you're mad that General Stone never told you where your Omegas are, aren't you?" I say, untangling her hair from a congealing blood clot. "I wouldn't bother haunting him, though. He's probably already surrounded by scorned ghosts."

'Frack, plan foiled!' she'd laugh, clicking her tongue in mock disappointment.

I never asked why she said frack instead of fuck. I never asked her about a lot of things.

"I hope your friends are safe."

'But what if they're not.'

The voice in my head is getting clearer.

That is concerning.

Grief should echo and repeat what I already know. This sounds like Halley forming new opinions, which is either evidence of an unsurprising grief-induced psychological break or something deeply disturbing.

I shrug to myself.

Does it matter what it is? Besides, whatever is talking to me makes a good point.

Now that Halley is gone, who will look for her Omegas?

Who will make sure they're safe and cared for?

If they're even a little bit like my sweet girl, I can't stomach the idea that they're out there somewhere, needing help.