Page 60 of Sex On A Plate

“I’ll call you back.”

“I’m serious about that signing,” she said.

“I’ll Talk to you soon.”

I did as my father would have expected and made it to the Las Vegas signing. In an odd state of mind, I did my best to hide my grief. It wasn’t easy. He was far more than my father. He was my best friend.

He had been my closest friend since I was a child.

On the second or third day of the Las Vegas event, I made a post on Facebook. “If anyone’s in Vegas and wants to meet for a drink (I don’t drink alcohol, but I figured I could have coffee) I’ll buy you one at the Planet Hollywood. Meet me at the PBR Rock Bar at 9 pm.”

A hoard of people showed up, shocked that I’d made such an offer. One had been a fan since my inception as an author.

Nervous and shaking like a dog shitting peach pits, she nervously sat and stared. “I…can’t,” she stammered. “I can’t believe…this.”

I wanted to make her more comfortable. Ease her mind a little. “Are you hungry,” I asked.

She shrugged.

I opened the menu. “What looks good?”

She shrugged.

The waiter happened upon us. He surveyed the group. “Does anyone need food?”

“What’s your best appetizer?” I asked.

He tapped his finger against the menu. “The bacon deviled eggs.”

I looked at the nervous fan. “Do you like deviled eggs?”

She nodded.

“Bring enough of those for everyone,” I said. “And a few orders of BBQ Nachos.”

We stayed and talked until 3 am, talking about everything and about nothing. We took pictures, told stories, and ate deviled eggs like everything was okay.

During that time, oddly, everything was okay.

It was the way my father would have wanted it to be.

Be an asshole on the surface, or the world will take advantage of you. When the opportunity arises, lower your armor. No one likes an asshole.

The memories of that 10-day period will always be with me, as will the taste of those wonderful deviled eggs.

This is my rendition of them. In my opinion, they’re fractionally better.

Here we go…

Cut 3 or 4 slices of bacon up with kitchen scissors. Fry it in the skillet until well done, but not a burned-up mess.

Set the bacon aside on paper towel lined plate. When it’s cool enough to touch, cut with the scissors into chunks the size of your pinkie nail.

Place 6 eggs in the stock pot. Cover with cool tap water to an inch or two above the highest egg.

Place on stove and bring to a boil. Cover with lid and reduce heat to medium high.

Let boil, covered, for 7 minutes.