Page 68 of Tito

“I tried everything to make him happy.” She shrugged. “Nothing worked.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Hap said. “If he was fucking strippers while you were sitting at home on that green couch, my guess is he didn’t know what he wanted out of life. Some men are complacent on the outside but on the inside they’re angrier than a sack of wet cats.” He nodded at me. “If it’s any consolation, the Kid is pretty even-keeled.”

She grinned. “He seems to be.”

“Change of subject. Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, and Taylor Swift,” Braxton said. “Go!”

“Fuck Katy, marry T-Swift, and kill Miley,” Reggie blurted.

“Care to explain?” Braxton asked.

“Sure.” Reggie leaned against the handrail of the porch and sipped her beer. “I’d kill Miley, because sooner or later she’d go off the deep end and do something stupid and unpredictable. Katy’s a bitch from time to time, so I couldn’t marry her. I’d fuck her just to see what her tits feel like. That leaves T-Swift for the marry. Pretty simple math. How about you?”

“I’m afraid I’d have to fuck Miley,” Braxton said. “She’s nuttier than a squirrel turd, and nutty girls are always good in the sack. I’d kill Perry because she irritates me. Afraid I’d have to marry Taylor, too. Probably end in a divorce fairly quickly. She’s far too strong-willed for me.”

“You prefer submissive types?” Reggie asked.

“Not so much,” he replied. “Doesn’t mean I want to spend my life arguing over petty things, though. I can see that girl being difficult to live with.”

“I’d hit Miley in the head with a wrecking ball, kill that skinny little Swift girl, and marry Perry,” Hap said.

Reggie laughed. “How do you know about Miley Cyrus and the wrecking ball?”

“I watch all the awards banquets. Get a huge kick out of seeing everyone. Except for that damned Cardi B. That woman’s voice grinds on my last nerve.”

“Me, too.” Reggie pointed at Hap. “And yuck on you for marrying Katy Perry. She’s—”

“She’s a preacher’s daughter. You know what they say about them.” Hap wagged his eyebrows. “She’d do anything just to spite her father.”

“I know a little about that,” Reggie said with a laugh.

Hap gave her a curious look. “Is your dad a preacher“?”

“Detective.”

“Never would have guessed it,” Hap replied. “You seem pretty normal, considering you’ve gone through what was undoubtedly a strict upbringing. By the book, wasn’t he”

“He wasn’t too bad.”

“Did he lull you to sleep with gruesome stories about his homicide scenes?”

“He doesn’t work homicide. His specialty is organized crime.”

Hap laughed out loud. “Didn’t know we had a problem with the Italian mob in San Diego.”

“I don’t think we do,” Reggie admitted. “His focus is gangs, criminal enterprises, and things like that.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“What was your profession?” she asked.

“United States Marine,” Hap said proudly. “Thirty years. After that, I trained cops in hand-to-hand combat. Then, I retired for real.”

“That’s admirable.” She turned to face Braxton. “What about you?”

“Same thing,” he replied. “I retired from the Marine Corps.”

“What do you do now? You’re too young to be retired.”