Page 29 of Tito

Braxton parked, but left the vehicle running.

Hap gestured toward the driveway. “Looks like someone’s pissed off.”

Appearing to be in a heated discussion with someone, Braxton was talking on the vehicle’s hands-free phone. His brows were knitted together, his hands were waving in all directions, and the veins in his neck were protruding.

After several minutes, he shut off the vehicle and opened the door. Wearing dark jeans, dress shoes, and a sport coat—which was casual dress for him—he glanced at each of us, and then sauntered up the driveway.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “Had some business I had to take care of.”

Hap gestured toward the beer cooler with the neck of his bottle. “Sunday’s supposed to be a day of rest.”

“I can’t decide when the phone rings,” Braxton responded. “When I do, I’ve got to resolve whatever it is that presents itself.”

“I need to present you with something,” Hap said.

Braxton opened a beer and took a drink. “What’s that?”

“A couple of things, actually,” Hap said. “One, The Kid won’t discuss his dick in front of women. Second thing is this: there’s a bottle of scotch beside his chair, which means that gal wanted to use him for nothing but sex. He refuses to discuss that, too.”

“I haven’t refused to discuss anything,” I argued.

Hap peered beyond me, toward Braxton. “Hey, Brax. What do you call your wiener? When you’re talking about it in front of a woman?”

“Depends on the woman,” Braxton responded as if the topic were a matter commonly discussed.

“Give me an example,” Hap said.

Appearing to give the subject some serious thought, Braxton took a long drink of his beer. He lowered the bottle and glanced at what remained. Seeming satisfied, he looked at Hap. “In a doctor’s presence, I’d call it a penis. In the presence of a timid woman, I’d probably refer to it as a dick. If she was more open-minded and a little mischievous, I’d call it a cock.”

“Didn’t realize cock was such a common term,” Hap said.

Braxton looked at me. “Is that what you call it?”

“Unless he’s in front of a woman,” Hap interjected. “Then, the topic’s off-limits.”

“You won’t discuss your junk in front of a woman?” Braxton asked, his eyes narrowing as he spoke.

“Said he doesn’t discuss it in front of women,” Hap said.

“Let him respond, Old Man,” Braxton said with a laugh.

“He took my earlier reply out of context,” I explained. “What I was meaning was this: in front of a woman, I don’t need to make reference to it by name.”

“Don’t need to?” he asked. “Or won’t?”

“It’s not necessary,” I responded.

“So, you don’t discuss it in front of a woman?”

“I don’t need to.”

“But you’ll sit here and discuss it at length,” he said. “You don’t think that’s odd?”

“We’re getting way off the subject. Like I said, there’s no need. It’s not like I have some strange hang up.”

He drank what remained of his beer and stood. “Sounds like you do.”

“Well, I don’t.”