Page 88 of The Fed Sex Man

“Your dick is prettier than those guy’s dicks, just for what it’s worth,” I whispered.

His eyes narrowed. “Pretty?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty.”

He cocked his head to the side and gave me a look. “My dick and my phone are pretty?”

“Personally, I prefer the iPhone, but as far as Androids go, the Samsung’s pretty nifty. I like the suede cover. Your dick, on the other hand, is the prettiest dick I’ve ever seen.”

He leaned his jaw against his clenched fist and looked right at me. “How many have you seen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

I knew one day the question was going to come up. I hoped he’d let me combine all the dicks I’d seen into one big pile and make reference to that number. It would be staggering, but far less embarrassing.

“In real life, or on the internet?” I asked.

“Give me two separate numbers. Real life, and then the internet.”

I gazed up at the ceiling and let out a long breath before looking at him again. “Four, in real life. On the internet, probably…” I multiplied the number of days in a year times twenty, and then multiplied that number times the thirteen years I’d been watching porn. I gave him a look of innocence, just to soften the blow. “Ninety-four thousand, nine hundred, if my math’s correct. There’s a possibility I’ve seen some twice, but that’s impossible for me to know for sure.”

His eyes bulged.

“A hundred thousand cocks?” he half-whispered. “Jesus.”

I raised my brows. “I know, right?”

He glanced over each shoulder, and then leaned forward. “You’ve only had sex with four guys?”

That question was the one I feared the most. Admitting my lack of experience would either be a blessing or a curse, and I knew not which. I drew a breath and then let it out.

“Actually, I’ve only had sex with one,” I admitted. “I sucked two guys cocks, which would count for dicks number two and three. Then, when I was ten, I went into he bathroom while Jarod was messing with his, and I saw it, by accident. Just part of it, though. That’s number four, for a total of four real-life dicks.”

He looked like he’d seen a ghost. “You’ve had sex with one guy, besides me?”

“Uh huh. Just so you know, it wasn’t a big deal. He came to my second-cousin’s wedding, on my mom’s side. He was from Seattle and was a friend of the groom. I don’t even think he gave me his real name, and I didn’t get his number or anything. It was a pretty strange deal. I was so drunk I couldn’t walk, and we did it in his rental car in the parking lot.” I shrugged. “Sorry.”

“No,” he said. “I’m not uhhm. I’m not concerned.”

“What about you?” I asked before I could stop myself. “How many have you seen?”

“Mine and Shawn’s, up close. All the guys in gym class, but not like a dick inspection, or anything. Just as they walked past. And the football team, of course. We showered together.”

I laughed. “No,” I whispered. “How many pussies?”

“A lot more than four.” He chuckled. “Let’s leave it at that.”

“Okay.”

I was satisfied with his response, kind of. After chewing on it for a moment, I decided I wanted more.

“I know they all look different,” I said. “But, what do they feel like? Can you describe the differences?”

After raking his fingers through his already mussed hair, he arched one eyebrow just a little. “They’re all different. Some are tight, some are loose, and some are just fucking weird. Yours, for what it’s worth, is perfect.”

I started to say thank you, but before I did, he continued.

“It’s better than perfect,” he said. “It’s pussy heaven.”

“It feels that good?” I asked, trying to hide my excitement. “Heavenly?”