Page 114 of The Fed Sex Man

“What?” I screeched. “You knew?”

“Knew what? That they had a smokin’ hot librarian when they were in school? Yeah, Shawn showed me a picture of her. Sorry, go back to your story, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“That was my story.”

“What was your story?”

I was afraid I already had the answer to my question. “I found that picture, and a passage in his yearbook that said, ‘If you get her to suck your dick with those DSLs, let me know’, or something like that. I got mad and stomped out of his house.”

She scrunched her nose. “We smoked a lot of pot this weekend, I’m sorry. Did I miss something? Tell me you didn’t leave him over one of his high school buddies making a comment about that hot librarian sucking his dick.”

I stared back at her, expressionless.

“You didn’t, did you?”

I shrugged one shoulder.

“Jesus, Jo. Really?”

I felt like such an inexperienced fool. I’d never been in an actual relationship. At the time, it seemed like a natural reaction to the situation. After I had time to think about it, however, it seemed a little harsh.

I nodded.

“Overreact much?” she asked, her tone thick with sarcasm.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“I’m thinking so,” she said. “Not that it really matters, but did he get a BJ from the her? Did he say?”

“He did say. He didn’t.”

She blew out a slow, exaggerated breath. “Uhhm. Yeah, I’d say you overreacted. Like. Yeah.”

I needed to redeem myself. For her to at least agree with part of why I got angry. “What about the guy saying Tyson should get her to wrap her DSLs around his dick, or whatever?”

“Did you see that chick’s lips?” she asked. “If I had a dick, I’d have spent all my spare time during the summer trying to get her to suck it, I can tell you that much.” She shook her head. “You’ve got to tell him you overreacted. That you’re sorry. He was in high school, for Christ’s sake. That was like, what? Twenty years ago?”

“Eighteen.”

“You can’t let that get between you guys,” she said, still shaking her head in disbelief. “I’m sorry, but that’s just kind of ridiculous. In a book, something like that might cause a breakup, but not in real life. Just tell him you overreacted.”

“I already did.”

“You already did what?”

“I already told him I overreacted.”

“Is he still mad?”

“No. He came over to my parent’s house yesterday and apologized.”

“For what?” She laughed. “Being a horny teenager?”

Instead of redeeming myself, I was being ridiculed. My lack of relationship experience was showing, and I didn’t like it.

“For not being truthful with me from the beginning.” I forced a long sigh. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Not an idiot.” She chuckled. “Maybe a little bit of a psycho, but not an idiot.”