Page 108 of The Fed Sex Man

32

Tyson

Shawn tossedthe yearbook onto the loveseat. “I hate to say, ‘I told you so’, but I told you so.”

I was hurting from areas I had no idea possessed pain receptors. Even my soul ached. “I’m not looking to get a fucking lecture,” I complained. “I’m here for advice.”

“I already told you. The cowgirl said she’s madder’n fuck and doesn’t want to ever see you again.”

I pressed the heels of my palms against my temples. “She won’t answer my calls, or texts. I’ve been by her house twice. I just need to explain everything to her.”

“What the fuck are you going to tell her?” he asked. “That you picked her out of the crowd, so you could fantasize about drilling your high school spank bank queen?”

I stood up and shot him a glare. “Fuck you.”

“It’s true.”

I turned toward the kitchen. “You’re an asshole.”

“Truth’s a bitch, ain’t it?”

I spun around. “Who the fuck are you to tell me how to fix a broken relationship, anyway? You bang chicks like you’re turning yourself in on Monday to start a life-long prison sentence.”

“But I tell ‘em the truth,” he said. “How many times do I have to remind you of that?”

I crossed my arms over my chest and flexed my biceps in anger. “What the fuck are you saying? That I should have told her she reminded me of Garber on the day I met her?”

“If you didn’t want this to happen, yeah.” He looked me up and down, and then shook his head. “Either that, or you never should have told her you loved her.”

“But I do love her.”

He twisted his mouth to the side and stood. “I’d say you fucked up, then. Big time.”

That was my fear. That I’d fucked up big time. Her likeness to Garber seemed so insignificant when the relationship started. Now? It seemed like I’d been a liar and a creep.

I gave him a look. “If you wouldn’t have said anything that night about the naughty fucking librarian, I could have talked my way out of this.”

“You fuckin’ prick!” He puffed his chest. “Don’t you try to spin this and make it my fault. If you had told her the truth from jump street, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You made the decision to do what you did. Be a fuckin’ man and own it.”

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

At the time I met Jo, I had no intention of ever falling in love. My plan was to have sex with her and walk away. How was I to know walking away wouldn’t be an option?

I sat down. “My whole body aches.”

“From what? Flexin’ your fuckin’ muscles at me? You’re lucky I like you, asshole. I ought to whip your ass.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I complained. “I need to fix this.”

He exhaled a breath through his teeth and shook his head. “Just find another chick to screw, you’ll be fine in no time.”

“You don’t get it, do you? There are no other chicks to screw. I’m done. It’s Jo, or it’s no one.”

He shrugged. “Looks like you’re going to be single, bro.”

“I can’t live without her,” I stated. “I’ve got to fix this.”

Since my father’s death, there’d been very little I cared about. My car, my memories of him, and his home. Since meeting Jo, she was all I cared about. In her absence, there was nothing else in my life that mattered.

I’d shared things with her that I hadn’t shared with anyone. I’d confided things in her I’d spend a lifetime concealing. Having her in my life caused me to admit that I was living life on a collision course with no one other than myself.

Before meeting her, I was my own worst enemy. Through her actions and innocence, she proved to me that I could trust a woman. In trusting her, I realized what a crucial part a woman plays in a man living a rich and rewarding life.

With her came a comfort that I never knew existed. In her presence, I could be me without fear of repercussion. She was kind, caring, and considerate of all those she encountered. She gave while taking nothing. I loved her easily and unconditionally. In return, she loved me equally.

Until I betrayed her trust.

I tilted my head toward the ceiling and covered my face with my hands. “Fuuuuuck!”