Page 51 of Rigid

Upon pushing the door open, we were met by a wide-eyed guard.

Dressed in a suit, and built like a linebacker, he gave an unassuming nod. “Welcome to Tiffany’s.”

“I’m looking for a ring for my daughter,” I said. “Diamond.”

“One of our associates will be with you promptly,” he said.

I offered a silent nod of appreciation.

“One of our associates,” Nut whispered mockingly.

I narrowed my eyes and shot him a glare. “I meant it.”

“Good afternoon, and welcome to Tiffany’s. I’m Jennis. How can I help you?” someone said from behind me.

Peering over my shoulder, P-Nut’s eyebrows raised slightly. “What’s your name again?”

“Jennis.”

“Spell it.”

I turned around. A tall, pale, and very thin woman dressed in a navy skirt and blazer stood with her hands dangling at her sides. Her hair hung past her shoulders and draped over her chest like a sheet of crimson silk.

“J, e, n, n, i, s,” she said.

“Oh, Jennis. Sorry, thought you said Janice,” P-Nut said. “We’re looking for a diamond ring.”

“I’m looking for a diamond ring,” I said.

She smiled and alternated glances between us. “An engagement ring? Or--”

“No,” P-Nut said before she finished.

“Yes,” I said.

She looked at him, and then at me. “Yes, or no?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“No,” P-Nut said.

She grinned. “What’s the purpose of the ring?”

“To cause anyone who encounters the person wearing it to think she’s spoken for.”

“She would be your wife? Girlfriend?” She leaned forward and then glanced over each shoulder. “Sidepiece?”

P-Nut chuckled. “What do you know about sidepieces?”

She raised her delicate hand to her mouth and grinned a sly grin. “I’ll never tell.”

“I’m an expert at getting sexy red heads to talk--”

I elbowed P-Nut and stepped between them. “It’s for my daughter.”

She turned to the side and took a long stride toward one of the many display cases. “You want to scare off the--”

“I’ll scare them off once they come through the door,” I said. “I want this to minimize the amount of them I’ll have to scare.”