Page 22 of Rigid

The way it felt knowing all we would ever have was sex crushed those wants and desires into dust.

For whatever reason, admitting I was nothing but a hole for him to fill hurt me. And, I’d been hurt too many times in the past to allow it to happen again.

I rolled to the side, stood, and turned toward the bathroom. Facing away from him, I cleared my throat. “Do you…uhhm. Do you mind…would you just let yourself out?”

God.

This hurts.

“Wow. Really?”

I didn’t bother turning around. I couldn’t allow him to see my face. Hiding my feelings at that moment would have been impossible, and if he knew how I truly felt, any rejection that followed would surely crush me.

“I’m going to shower,” I said. “I’ll take my time. I’d appreciate it if you’d be gone when I came out.”

He cleared his throat. “Alright.”

While I showered, I came close to crying several times. It seemed ridiculous for me to feel the way I felt, but Smokey was different.

I could sense it.

I could feel it.

And, I could see it.

But. His unique situation wouldn’t allow him to accept anyone in his life that caused him to feel.

I dried off, got dressed, and walked into the kitchen. Although the home was void of his presence, his scent still lingered in the air. I closed my eyes, inhaled a shallow breath, and shuddered at the smell of him.

I opened my eyes.

A folded piece of paper laying on the countertop caught my eye. I walked toward it. On the outside of the note, my name was written.

I eagerly unfolded it.

The script was handwritten, and elegant.

Sandy,

You satisfied me more in two days than you’ll ever know. If you’re thinking this comment is about sex, you’re wrong.

It’s about your fun-loving attitude, your great personality, and the way you put up with my shit.

For a minute, you tricked me into thinking I was normal.

But, I’m not.

Probably be best if we called it quits.

I’m enjoying this too much.

Smokey

I read the note, and then re-read it.

With reluctance, I folded the note, walked to the trash can, and dropped it inside.

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