Page 57 of Dirty Reads

SIXTEEN

Dick

I’D never really cared for anyone, at least not that I could remember. I was sure at one point in time I loved my parents, but I couldn’t remember for the life of me when it was.

But Jess?

Jess was alright.

She gagged like she was going to barf. “I don’t think I like it.”

“You’re not supposed to chew the fuckers like a piece of god damned gum. You just swallow them.”

“Then why eat ‘em? I mean, if you’re just going to swallow ‘em?”

We were in a restaurant eating oysters on the half shell as an appetizer while we waited for our meal. She tried to swallow the same one three times, and each time, it came right back up. Determined to succeed, she continued to try until she finally accomplished the task. Now, it was anyone’s guess as to whether or not she’d keep it down.

She covered her hand with her mouth. “You can have the rest of ‘em.”

I chuckled. “You sure?”

She nodded.

I fixed my eyes on hers and slurped another from the shell slowly, exaggerating my slurping to irritate her.

She lunged forward, grabbed her stomach and coughed. The oyster shot from her mouth and landed on the plate in front of her.

She took a drink of water, glared at it, and picked it up.

“If you eat that nasty little fucker, you’re going to make me barf,” I said.

“I said I’d eat one, and I’m going to eat this little bastard.”

“You’ve eaten that same one three times. This’ll make four. That’s gross.”

She flattened her palm and stared down at the oyster. “I can’t tell the difference between when I saw it on the shell, and now.”

“Don’t,” I warned.

She lifted her hand, sucked the oyster into her mouth, and swallowed hard. After a few seconds she widened her eyes and opened her mouth. “Tadah!”

I pushed the plate to the side. “I’m done.”

“There’s like eight left, and you only bought twelve.”

“I’m done.”

“You think me eating that little fucker is gross?”

“I know it’s gross,” I said.

“And you want me to swallow your cum.”

I shook my head. “That’s different.”

“How?”

“It’s during the throes of passion or whatever.”