Page 9 of Hard Corps (Selected Sinners MC 7)

CHAPTER FOUR

Fall 2004, Wichita, Kansas, USA

I gripped the sides of the weight bench and pressed the extensions to their limit. After holding my legs straight until my muscles began to fatigue, I bent my knees and lowered the weight to the machine’s stops.

I sat up, wiped the sweat from my face, and stood from the bench. My leg was in as good of shape as it was before I was shot, and there was no doubt in my mind I had recovered 100 percent. Shot twice and determined to be still fit for duty, I felt fortunate to be able to return to a war I was convinced couldn’t be won by either side. As I felt Suzanne’s presence in the room, I turned toward the doorway.

As our eyes met, she spoke. “You’re really going back?”

I stood and buried my face in the towel I held. I couldn’t expect her to believe she was as important to me as she was and also understand my overwhelming need to return, at least not without some kind of an explanation. I pulled the towel away from my face and did my best to reassure her I was doing what was best for everyone, her included.

“Babe, I’m sorry. But until this damned thing is over, I’ll go back. I’ve got to. I don’t have a choice,” I said.

“You do have a choice,” she murmured.

I shook my head. “I don’t. My men need me. I can’t let them down. I took an oath and gave my word, you can’t expect me to go back on that, you just can’t. The man who never gives up, is always there for those in need, and provides what others can only dream of is the man you fell in love with. For you to ask me to stay here would be to ask me to change who I am. To change who you fell in love with.”

“I can’t change that maple tree out in the yard into an apple tree, and I sure can’t turn myself into a man unwilling to fight and willing to break his word.” I flipped the towel over my shoulder and pointed both of my index fingers toward my chest.

“You fell in love with this man. The man that’s going back to fight against the very terrorists who attacked our country and killed innocent civilians. And I’m going back to do my part in making sure they don’t do it again to our children,” I said.

“Our children?” she asked, her voice faltering as she spoke. “God, I love you, Alec.”

I nodded my head. “Yes. Our children.”

She smiled and wiped her eyes. “I can’t argue with you. You’re right. I fell in love with the man who never gives up. The man who wouldn’t take no for an answer when he asked me out on that first date.”

She paused and dropped her eyes to the floor.

“But I’m scared to death they’re going to kill you,” she said as she shifted her eyes to meet mine.

“My promotion to Sergeant was already in for this spring, so it was a given. After killing that sniper and being shot, I received a meritorious combat promotion, Suzanne. They kicked me up to a Staff Sergeant. I’ll be in charge of over forty men. I won’t really even be fighting any more, just commanding infantry troops. And there’s never going to be anything worse than that fucking mess in Fallujah, so there’s nothing to worry about,” I said, doing my best to not only convince her, but to assure myself there would be far less risk of me being killed in my new position.

“Not even fighting, huh? Nothing to worry about, alright. I’ll keep telling myself that. So, when do you think the war is going to end?” she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe one more tour?”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Really?”

I nodded my head, hoping to convince myself the war was nearly over.

Her mouth curled into a smile. She fought against it for a moment, and eventually shifted her eyes down at the floor. After a few seconds, she lowered her head slightly. Her blonde hair fell beside her face, hanging from her head like strands of straw-colored silk. She raised her hand and flipped her hair over her shoulder, lifting her head – and her gaze – until it met mine.

“You think this will be your last?” she asked as our eyes locked.

“I hope so,” I said.

It wasn’t much of a reassurance, but I really hoped it would end soon. I didn’t see that there could ever be a clear winner in the war we were fighting, but if nothing else we were making a statement. The people we were fighting weren’t the people who mattered, and the people who mattered weren’t anywhere to be found. Continuing at the pace we were would prove nothing and gain very little.

“I just…I can’t imagine…I can’t imagine losing you,” she said.

I shook my head. “Don’t. Don’t imagine it. Imagine me coming home one day for good, and you and I having a family. Imagine that.”

She grinned and nodded her head. “I will.”

The thought of losing Suzanne wasn’t something I was prepared to digest. My only desire, short of making it out of the war alive and in one piece, was to have a family with her and live a new life to the limit of my mental, physical, and spiritual abilities.

I stood and gazed at her, and as I did, realized my desire to have a family with her was deeply etched into my being.

As she began to walk in my direction, no doubt to hold me in her arms, it saddened me slightly to know that my commitment to protect my fellow Marines was etched just a little deeper.