Page 57 of The Price Of Possession

I pace around the room, my boot thud along the floor. “I never wanted to be my father,” I state.

Grey pushes off the wall. “We know you're not. Doesn't mean you can't hold a firm hand and keep things as they are. Or you can shut it down. We stand beside you either way. It seems you got through to the Elites. They know you are the rightful heir, and nothing changes that,” he encourages.

I grunt in response. Grey's always been good at that shit. Being sensible and observant. He keeps his involvement to a minimum. I'm sure he isn't pleased I've dragged him into this shit. If he isn't, he doesn't complain. Val kicks his feet up on the tufted stool in the corner and dusts his fingers through his blonde hair. “Listen, you know we've got your back. Personally, we should keep shit the same. You've got no qualms with how shit is run or how the girls are used.” He shrugs. He loves indulging, so it isn't too far off to assume he's thinking with his cock again. He is right though, I don't give a shit. Keeping things running smoothly would be the smartest solution. A win-win for everyone involved. Elites still get their dick wet. Offerings still get a full ride scholarship along with the perks of being spoiled.

Sometimes the money is worth the abuse. The only issue there could be is will Clara stand by my side through this shit? The Void destroyed her. Either way, she doesn't get to leave me.

Silas clears his throat. “You could just make the offerings be able to freely participate. Not just the scholarship girls. It may give the Void extra girls to work with. Who the Elites spend their money on is their business. The girls like the attention and the money that comes with it. Hell, they love the social status it offers them.” Silas shrugs. I stroke my chin, contemplating. None of them understand why I hate the Void. They suspect Mortensen is involved, but that is the extent of it. My hatred for him runs deep.

Truthfully, I never gave a fuck about the shit that happened behind these four walls. What I hated was what my father made me become. The shit he forced upon me at a young age. He robbed me of being a normal kid. Now my head is flooded with dark desires and tainted world views. What's done is done, I guess. Val cocks his head.

“Wouldn't that just give them the idea that they could breed with whomever?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Most of the Elites follow the strict laws put in place. That shit has been around for generations. That's why so many Elites were pissed about Mortensen breaking them,” I explain.

Grey clicks his tongue. “So, are you not technically breaking them now with Clara?” he juggles his hands up and down.

I suck my teeth. He's not exactly wrong, but not quite right either. “Nah. It's a loophole. I cannot breed her. She'll never bear children. Marrying her is questionable at best,” I backpedal.

Zain clasps my shoulder. “Just don't let your impulses control your decisions.”

I hate when he implores me to see reason. Him and Grey are one in the same. Quiet, calculating and observant. They both possess the skill set to see things clearly. “So you'll like . . . never have kids, then?” Val fishes. He jams his hands in his jeans and leans back farther in the chair. I rub my eyes with the heel of my hand. Of fucking course he opens his fat mouth, I'm not really cool with him diving into my private shit, or anyone for that matter, but especially Val.

I grind my teeth together, trying desperately to not bust him in the teeth again. The fuckwad has no filter sometimes, but he does make sense. I stole her ability to be a mother. All because I wanted to protect her, but also because I'm a selfish fuck. I never wanted to be a father. Hell, even if I could, I would have sterilized myself to make doubly sure.

Zain slaps Val upside the head. “Fucking moron.” He mumbles under his breath. “What!” Val shrugs, looking innocent. He is anything but.

I blow out a breath. “So it's settled. We continue the Void as is. Whether or not Clara stands beside me is irrelevant. She is in this with me to the end.”

Everyone nods. Silas crosses his arms over his chest. “We're with you until the end.” Val stretches, seemingly bored.

“Well, this has been an eventful fucking day. I need to sleep. I don't know about you all, but I'm calling it a night.”

He springs up from his seat. “Tomorrow we will finish this conversation. Sleep on it or whatever, Kier.”

Val waves his arm. I roll my eyes. I suppose it has been a long fucking day. Maybe everyone needs time to just cool it before any more decisions are made. Everyone files out except Zain who lags behind. I've been waiting for an opportune moment to talk to him alone. No Vesper. No Clara.

“Z.” I catch his attention before he reaches the doorway. He stops and turns to me. His brows raise in question. “We have shit to discuss.” I cross my arms and sink into the chair Val just vacated. “I'm sorry how much of a dick I've been to Vesp,” I start. I am not the apology type and he knows it. He chuffs. “Are you? Or is it because you now know she's your family?” He taunts.

I deserve that. I've been an asshole. Not that I give much of a shit about how I'm perceived, but I shake my head nonetheless. “Nah, not because she's family. We've been through some shit man. She's an extension of you. I get that now that I have Clara. You know I'd always take care of her regardless, right?”

He nods. “Yeah. I know. I'd do the same for your girl.” He confirms. I nod. ‘Yeah man.”

“She doesn't blame you, you know. Me, either. If you didn't off him, I would have cut him up and laid his body parts around the school just for the shock factor.” A wolfish grin falls over his face at his admission. He gets off on the cruel amusement of it all. Same old insane Zain. I throw my head back and an amused chuckle leaves my throat. “A word of advice, even though you hate that shit. Don't be afraid to be open to her. Obviously keeping her in the dark for some shit is best. Or at least offer her the illusion she's included. Women need that freedom.”

My face twitches. I lean back in my seat. “Aww, going soft on me now?” I tease.

He rolls his shoulders. “Deflect. Figured you would. Do whatever you want,” he says, shrugging. He throws a hand over his shoulder as he rounds the doorway.

We may have a long way to heal together—if you can call it that. I'll never be “healed” or whatever. That shit doesn't exist. I can't be certain we will ever not be fucked up in some way, but I know it's a journey that we will make together over time.

“Fuck, just pick one before I change my mind,” I grumble. I can't believe I'm doing this shit for her. I don't want to raise a monster like my father did. I don't think I'm capable of being anything other than dark and twisted. Clara pulls my arm and yanks me face level.

“If you're not ready for this, we can go,” she mutters, clearly attuned to my dilemma. Her dewy skin beads with sweat. She's nervous. Fuck, me too. Her gorgeous face falls when I don't immediately respond. The past few months she's blossomed into my strong butterfly, so I figured this would help her find that solace she needs or whatever. I still haven't a clue how to be who the hell she needs, but what can I say? I'm a work in progress.

“Nah, it's fine.” I kiss her nose making her delicate smile sweep back over her face. Her little nose crinkles, making my heart squeeze. She squeals in excitement as she tugs my big bulky frame toward the back of the orphanage. A little girl is all smiles in a frilly pink dress. She's swinging on the run down swing set without a care in the world. How she still manages a smile on her face every day irks me. She's so innocent and carefree despite her circumstances.

A wild thought. Her blonde ringlet curls fly in unruly spirals in all directions. She has large doe eyes, a deep shade of blue. She's small for her age. She's probably five, maybe six? They likely give her meager portions in a place like this. Clara is entranced. She drops my wrist. I wait. I watch.