Page 97 of Depraved Boys

“What’s that, Stevie?”

“Stevie wants to know why the baby is taking a long time to come out.”

My gaze darted to the door, out to the kitchen, where I had left my painkillers on a high shelf away from curious, little hands. “You’ll have to ask him or her when your mom and dad come back.”

Preparing food for children when all I wanted to do was curl up and piece together missing hours was a pain. Peter, Stevie, and Anne wouldn’t eat the beans on toast I’d made them and demanded pizza. When I told them I had no money, the two little ones lay on their backs and howled.

Each shrill cry reverberated in my throbbing head, and nausea swirled through my insides. Of all the times to have a head injury, why did it have to be when Aunt Hortense’s waters broke?

By the time I had gotten them to eat something and put them to bed, I wished I was back in Cumbria Royal Infirmary, shrinking under the withering glares of the medical staff.

Early the next morning, at the first signs of light, the doorbell rang.

I sleepwalked out of the living room, through the hallway and to the front door and swung it open.

Ashley stood outside with her hands on her hips. “I heard this was where you were hiding.”

My stomach dropped. This was the first time I’d spoken to Ashley since her betrayal. Her parting words in Mrs. Benazir’s office had been a sarcastic reminder not to continue hurting myself. She had even twisted the knife by evoking Mom and Dad’s memory.

She bared her teeth. “Tell me you were lying on last week.”

“About what?”

“Don’t play coy.” She shoved her way into the apartment. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“What did I say?”

Ashley turned around, her face slack. “You don’t remember?”

“It’s a blank.”

Hatred burned in her eyes that looked as dark as coals in the dim hallway. “You accused me of killing Mom and Dad.”

“I wouldn’t have said—”

“That they were driving through the night looking for me.” She stepped closer and balled her hands into fists. “You hurled that fact in my face like a weapon.”

My head throbbed, and a wave of light-headedness caused me to place a hand on the hallway wall to steady myself. Breathing hard, I once again tried to recall Monday. What had prompted me to tell Ashley something so damaging? Just because I’d washed my hands of her, it didn’t mean that I would go out of my way to be hurtful.

“What happened on Monday?” I asked.

“Someone told me you spent the Sunday outside the academy, so I went back to my room to get some things. But you arrived, then turned nasty, and hurled a whole bunch of shit, including the lie about why Mom and Dad went out that night.”

Shallow breaths skimmed the top of my lungs. Knowing Ashley, she was probably leaving out essential chunks of information, but I hadn’t had contact with her in weeks and couldn’t guess what we had argued about this time. Money, perhaps? She would need it to keep up with the queens.

“Tell me,” she said through clenched teeth. “Were Mom and Dad really out looking for me, or had they taken you to one of your award events?”

I bristled at the accusation. “Think it through. I would have died with them if I’d been in the car. Or would have ended up to the hospital, at least.”

The wall clock ticked thirty-eight times before Ashley spoke again.

“So, they were looking for me.” The resentment in her voice grated against my ears. “Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes.” I walked through to the living room and sat. Ashley followed me and lowered herself onto the armchair. Then as calmly as I could, I told her what had happened the night Mom and Dad had died.

Ashley’s eyes hardened with every word until she looked like she would leap off the armchair and throttle me. Even though we had never had a physical fight since we were young, the lining of my stomach trembled with anticipation.

Pushing away those feelings, I continued until the end of the story. That terrible, summer night, after the police had informed me of Mom and Dad’s car accident, I had called Uncle Trevor. Aunt Hortense had arrived in the morning after finding a babysitter, and they both sat and cried with me in the living room until Ashley had come in the afternoon.