Page 63 of Fae Games

Still wearing the hooded cloak, I jogged over the path of stepping stones toward the trees. I needed a place to stay until after dark until I could join the princes for the ritual, and there was only one person who might not have guards watching him and was strong enough to hide me: Pokeweed.

I couldn’t find Pokeweed in the orchard, and I walked around the grounds to the pond, where I had crashed during the pyre stone task. He wasn’t there, either. The afternoon sun shone down from between two fluffy clouds, turning the surface of the water golden, and the frogs croaked on their giant lily pads.

Leaning against the trunk of a weeping willow, I folded my arms across my chest and blew out a breath through the corner of my mouth. The hood of that invisibility cloak was stifling, and I desperately needed to pull it down and get some air.

“Did you hear?” asked a voice from far off. “That halfling whore has ensnared another prince.”

The shock of being mentioned jolted my heart, and I straightened and calmed my breathing.

“Her Majesty isn’t going to like that one bit,” said another voice.

“Well, she’s summoned the princes to reveal where they’ve hidden her.” Two males clad in the white uniforms of the king’s guard walked to the edge of the water and stared in. “I heard she wants it four times a day.”

“Good thing there are four princes to give it to her!” The shorter of the males unbuttoned his pants, pulled out a mushroom-shaped dick, and urinated in an arc of golden liquid into the pond.

I clenched my teeth. Of all the places to take a piss.

“Only three of them want her, I heard. After this morning’s sexy spectacle with the Westerling girl, Prince August is angling for Nevermore’s daughter.”

The pisser stopped mid-stream. “Whatever for?”

“Who knows. If it was me, I’d take the halfling. At least she can fuck.”

The stream of urine continued. “Yeah,” he said, bliss filling his voice. “Pound her all night long. Five times, if she could handle it.”

My nostrils twitched. This guy looked like he could empty his bladder five times a night—nothing more. I shrank into the shade of the weeping willow, hoping one of the knuckers would rise from the depths of the water and snap his dick between its sharp jaws.

“Do not urinate in the pond,” said a deep voice.

The man turned around, bringing his stream of urine onto the grass. “Sorry.” He pissed at Pokeweed’s feet. “Didn’t know you were having your bath.”

“Point your manhood away from me,” snarled Pokeweed.

“Or what, halfling? You’ll molt all over us?”

His companion chuckled and unbuttoned his fly. “Want some more, hairy?”

I leaned forward, my eyes round, and anxiety pounding through my heart. Was this what Mr. Whittaker was saying about people taking advantage of Pokeweed’s good nature? An ache spread across my chest and reached the back of my throat. I wanted to tear across to the edge of the water and rip off that man’s dick.

Pokeweed stepped back and shook his head. “Ones with such measly endowments should not put them on display.”

With a click of his fingers, their dicks turned into… I inched forward to get a better look. Thin-stalked, orange-tipped mushrooms sprouted out of their flies erupting golden streams of pollen that blew in the wind.

The first released his mushroom with a shriek. “My rod!”

“What in Dubnos did you do?” yelled the other.

Pokeweed gave them a satisfied nod. “Perhaps now, you will take my request seriously. The next time you urinate in the pond, the enchantment will last ten moons instead of two.”

“You accursed creature!” His companion staggered away from Pokeweed and fell backward into the water with a massive splash that caused the frogs to leap off their lily pads.

I clapped a hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh. The bastards should have had their balls turned into grapes, too.

Pokeweed stood with his hands on his hips, and his brown wings spread out in a display of power. The wind blew his brown-and-orange-streaked hair off his furry face, adding a touch of intimidation. It would have been magnificent if he didn’t look so much like a moth.

The first faerie scampered off in one of those backward running movements that had him tripping over his feet, and the second pulled himself out of the water and sobbed. “Please, Puke, give me back my dick.”

“Leave, or you won’t have a tongue with which to beg.”