Page 49 of Deposed

“You weren’t the one who told them my location. That was Charlotte.”

His face twisted. “If we hadn’t pushed you so far in the first term, you wouldn’t have gone after us, and Charlotte wouldn’t have set her brother onto you.”

“Mr. Carbuncle did this.”

“And who bribed him to open the door of your room so we could tamper with your things? It was us. Carbuncle would never have paid you much notice if we hadn’t been so hell-bent on toying with you.”

I stared down at my hands folded over my lap. It was true. They had hurt me. I had hurt them back, and now I was hurt again. But this time, it was even worse than before.

Blake slid his fingers over mine. “Everything that happened last term… the public disgrace, that stint in rehab, and the fallout from this term… I realize now that I brought it all onto myself.”

“Are you saying I deserved the beating Mr. Carbuncle gave me?”

“No! Never,” his voice was rough. “I’m saying that none of this would have happened if we’d just left you alone. Sorry just isn’t enough.”

Tears gathered in my eyes and clouded my vision. I continued staring at our entwined hands, not knowing how to respond. Despite the painkiller and sedative, a deep ache formed in my heart and spread up to my throat, which felt raw from screaming. The memories of Mr. Carbuncle’s fists and feet and groping hands were too fresh for me to say I forgave anyone, but this was the heartfelt apology I had been seeking all of last term.

Blake drew back, taking away the warmth of his touch. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

I blinked and raised my head, making the tears drop onto the champagne-colored quilt. “Please, don’t go… I want you to stay with me.”

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath so deep, his entire chest expanded. “Emilia, do you know what you’re saying?” he asked in a single exhale. “Because—”

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep without you at my side.”

His gaze darted to the sleeping pills on the bedside, but he didn’t comment. “Alright.” He licked his lips. “B-but I don’t wear pajama tops.”

“That’s fine.”

He walked around the bed and peeled off his clothes. If I wasn’t feeling so groggy, I might have enjoyed the show, but a wave of fatigue had just washed over me, causing my eyes to droop. I sank further into the pillows and mattress. A yawn built up in the back of my throat, but my jaws were too stiff to open.

The other side of the bed shifted. Blake climbed in and lay beside me on his back, his arms at his side, and his expression unnaturally neutral.

“Do I look that hideous?” I asked.

“No,” he said without looking at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…” A breath huffed out of his nostrils. “I don’t know what to do.” His pupils rotated to the corner of his eyes. “Don’t laugh.”

I don’t know why. It was me who was drugged and who’d had the shit kicked out of me by Carbuncle, but a lump of pity formed in the back of my throat. Blake, the incorrigible flirt and consummate man-whore didn’t know what to do with a girl he wasn’t about to fuck. Blake, who lived in a palace, was the one acting intimidated in the presence of a girl who probably looked like the elephant man.

“Let me lie on your shoulder?” I asked.

He nodded and stretched out his left arm.

I eased myself off Nurse Priya’s nest of pillows and laid my head on Blake’s shoulder. He was warm and firm and smelled of camphor and spice.

“Do you need more water?” he asked.

My eyes fluttered closed. “I’ll have something to drink later.”

He gave me another kiss on the forehead. “You know… it’s alright to cry.”

Warmth filled my heart, radiated throughout my chest, and released the knot of resentment I had held whenever I thought of the part Blake played during Edward and Charlotte’s campaign against me in the first term. I clasped his shoulder and squeezed.

“Thank you, Blake.”