Page 62 of An Engagement with the Enemy

“Are you certain?” she asked. “It isn’t necessary. My father has assured me I have enough, and I’ve no wish to—”

“It is already done,” her uncle reassured her. He heaved a deep sigh and then a chuckle escaped him. “You have done well, Thomas. How many children would hear such an opportunity as this and not snatch at it with grasping hands?”

“Their restraint does them credit,” Lady Wyndham added with a satisfied nod.

Jessica exchanged a glance with her brother as her uncle helped the countess to her feet.

“We will leave you to discuss matters while we prepare for dinner,” their uncle said. “And remember. Nothing need be decided right away.”

The moment the door closed behind them, Tom sagged all the way down to the floor and dropped his face in his hands. Jessica closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair, and she heard her father chuckle.

“That went better than I expected,” he said, sounding quite cheerful. “Some would think such news as the two of you have had would be cause for celebration, a lessening of worry. I am glad you both know it to be otherwise.”

Tom’s voice, though muffled through his fingers, came through clear enough for Jessica to hear. “It is an exchange of lives. New problems for old. New challenges for those I had already accepted. Is that how you feel, Jess?”

She opened one eye and peered at her brother, seeing he peeped at her from between his fingers. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one in the family that found discomfort in unlikely places. Had she ever asked Tom if he faced struggles similar to her own?

“Yes,” she said at last. “Though I admit I’m quite relieved I needn’t entertain any more suitors.” Feeling somewhat bold, she added with relish, “Including Mr. Holly.”

Tom dropped his hands and exchanged a sheepish look with his father. “I couldn’t help trying. He’s a wonderful fellow. Quiet, too. I thought that would suit you.”

Strange, but she preferred James’s large grins and laughter to Mr. Holly’s more subtle smiles.

“Thank you for the thought,” she said, relaxing a little more. “But I think he’d suit another better than me.”

Their father cleared his throat and they both looked up at him. He went to stand between them, one child on the floor and the other melted into the chair. “Think things through, as they encouraged. Know that whatever you choose, you have my support.” His eyes gleamed with that pride again, and what Jessica suspected were unshed tears. “I hope I did the right thing, keeping you both here with me.”

Jessica and Tom rose at the same time and went to him, Jessica reaching their father first and wrapping her arms around his waist. Tom’s arms came around them both.

“You did perfectly, Father,” Tom said.

“We love you so much.” Jessica inhaled deeply, the scent of her father as calming as it had been since childhood.

His arms encircled his children and he kissed first Jessica’s forehead and then her brother’s. “Your mother would be proud of both of you.”

For that beautiful moment, Jessica’s heart was content. Everything was peaceful. And that allowed her thoughts and her feelings for James to settle in a way they hadn’t before.

After dinner, Jessica’s mind churned with the revelations of the evening as she bid her father and their guests goodnight.

Her thoughts lingered on James.

She cared for him deeply, loved him, as she had admitted to Catherine. The idea of walking away from him, of losing his smile and laughter from her life, caused an ache in her chest.

Perhaps she had been too cautious. Too swayed by her worries and insecurities. James had seen her at her worst and never judged. He made her want to be braver and more confident in her abilities.

What if she confessed how she felt? Laid her heart bare and asked James to accept her as she was, hysterics and all. She wouldn’t know if a life together was possible unless she took that leap.

Jessica went to her window and gazed at the stars twinkling brightly in the night sky.

She knew what she must do. What she wanted to do, deep in her soul. She would tell James she loved him. And if he felt as she did, they would face the future together, come what may.

She closed the window, but before she could latch it, a pebble hit the glass with a loud clatter. She startled and emitted a rather embarrassing squeak. Then she opened the window and leaned out of it, looking down into the dark garden.

“James?” she gasped out. Had her thoughts summoned him? “What are you doing here?”

James grinned up at her, his smile lit from the light still pouring from the dining room windows. “I need to talk to you, Jess,” he whispered.

Her heart picked up its speed, making her pulse race and her breath catch. “I’ll be right down,” she answered, then shut the window. She turned to see Bessie in the doorway, the maid’s expression one of surprise. But the surprise turned slowly to a knowing grin.