Page 47 of An Engagement with the Enemy

Her heart twisted.

The comfort she felt in James’ presence, the care he showed, his playful banter that never failed to make her smile made it impossible to ignore the truth. She was falling in love with him.

Jessica pressed a hand to her chest, equal parts thrilled and dismayed by the realization. Her head spun, still too near her recent spell. She needed to breathe. And to rest before she let herself think about the consequences of such a thing. Else she could bring on a worse reaction than before.

Resolve steadied her. Tonight, she would unburden herself and share her struggles. James had proven himself worthy of her trust. She would no longer let fear hold her back from accepting the support he could provide. And if he didn’t understand after all, she would rather know at that moment then rely on someone who couldn’t be counted upon as a friend.

Drawing a deep breath, Jessica joined the throng to greet her cousins. James glanced at her as he made his and Catherine’s excuses to take their leave, his brown eyes warm with understanding. Her heart faltered as she watched him walk away, keenly feeling his absence.

Yet she would see him again quite soon, and that thought bolstered her more than anything else possibly could.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The night air hung heavy, filled with the sounds of night birds and the faint rustling of leaves. Waiting in the darkness of another man’s garden felt far too much like something out of a Shakespearean drama. While James had the greatest respect for the Bard and had enjoyed many of his plays, he had no wish to find himself within one. Nothing ever went smoothly for the men in Shakespeare’s works. Princes went mad. Lovers far too often fell by the sword. And men like Nick Bottom found themselves a joke rather than the heroes.

Still, he waited like a fool. Whether he played a role in a comedy or tragedy, he’d yet to determine. James paced the length of the garden wall, glancing repeatedly through the archway and down the path that led from the house. Darkness obscured the trees and hedgerows surrounding him. The moon had yet to rise, and the lights in the house had mostly gone out. The family would make an early night of it rather than keep Town hours, anticipating a full day of entertainment at the fair the next day.

Despite the warm night, restless energy kept James moving. He rolled his shoulders, resisting the urge to loosen his cravat. Why had he suggested this clandestine meeting? If they were discovered, it would ruin Jessica. Or at least cause some very uncomfortable conversations with her father and his. And yet, when he had seen her distress that afternoon, the words had spilled out unbidden.

Jessica occupied too many of his waking thoughts as it was. Having a better understanding of what had occurred earlier that day would put his mind at ease on at least that subject. Once she shared what had happened, he would be better equipped to support her. As a friend.

He ignored the rapid beat of his heart whenever she flashed through his mind. Nothing could come of his growing feelings. Not until he knew, with certainty, that she returned them. His father had too many hopes of an advantageous match. James had to know with certainty that he and Jessica felt the same before he dared broach the idea of a courtship with his parents. He’d never had to keep something so important to him hidden, and it irked him that it might take weeks or months to know Jessica’s heart.

But he could be patient. He knew her mind was a match for his own. She’d always been quick and clever, and if he could see how well they suited one another, it would not be long before she saw the same.

Or before she realized he had feelings for her that she didn’t return, and then she could soundly crush his hopes with a few sharp-tongued words. Perhaps that was the truth of why he had to hide his growing affection for her. Because he was a coward, and he knew she could cut his heart in two with a single sentence.

The crunch of a footstep on gravel made him turn sharply. Jessica’s slim figure took shape in the darkness as she stepped through the archway. Relief crashed over him, though he kept his tone light as he said, “I was beginning to fear you wouldn’t appear.”

“Did you think I would miss an appointment with you a second time in one day?” Her teasing words held an edge of nervousness.

James clasped his hands behind his back to keep from reaching for her. “I am glad you came.”

She stepped closer, features emerging from the shadows. She’d come without any source of light. A wise thing, since anyone looking from the darkened house would see a light on the path at once and wonder who wandered the gardens at night.

But he’d brough a small lantern, the wick low and the light dim enough to not be seen from the other side of the wall. James drank in the sight of her, noting she wore her hair down in a braid along her shoulder. She wore a simple gown, one that likely hadn’t required a maid to don, and no gloves. He’d not undressed after his family’s dinner, instead dismissing his valet early. Sneaking out of the house as he had, he hadn’t donned hat or gloves, either.

There they stood in the silence. Alone, together. A thrill moved through him, partly at their risky behavior, but mostly because she stood before him, a vision of gentle beauty. Her expression still appeared somewhat uncertain, and though the night was warm, she pulled her shawl tighter about her shoulders. He needed to invoke a sense of familiarity, before one of them lost their nerve and did something ridiculous.

He donned a roguish grin. “Now, tell me all your secrets, Jessica Westcote, and I will single-handedly solve all your problems.”

Though he longed for more, tonight he would content himself with offering her a patient, listening ear. Her needs were of far greater importance than his.

“That is a tall promise.” She paced away from him, the gentle glow from the lamp illuminating her slim figure. The scent of the garden’s flowers drifted in the air between them, the setting all too perfect for a romantic scene, though the tremble in her voice told him it would not be that sort of moment between them.

James leaned against the stone wall, watching Jessica pace before him. “You said you wished to confide in me,” he prompted gently.

She halted, facing away from him again, arms wrapped around herself. “I do, it’s only...” Jessica’s words trailed away on a sigh, the sound pained. “I fear you will think less of me. Or that, once I confide in you, your treatment of me will change.” She groaned and turned to face him again, her smile stricken rather than warm or confident as he was used to seeing it. “You must think me mad.”

“I would never.” He kept still, watching her and willing her to feel his sincerity. “That is my answer to any of it, Jessica. How could I? You are my esteemed and honorable enemy.” He smiled, though the levity didn’t lessen the truth of his words. “Nothing you say will change how I perceive your character or nature.”

She tugged mercilessly on the fringe of her shawl, the dismay in her expression escaping with her next words. “But you saw me come undone today, over nothing. There was no reason for it.”

James straightened away from the wall, though he did not come closer to her. “I saw that you needed comfort. And I doubt it was nothing. Please, tell me what happened, what you were feeling. I want to understand.” He needed to understand.

“Did you ask Catherine?” She searched his eyes, her own faintly reflecting the small flame from the lamp he’d placed on the ground.

He shook his head. “No. My sister has never betrayed the confidence you share with her. Nor would I ask her to. If you were unwilling to explain things to me, it wouldn’t be my place to know.”