Page 99 of Blood Lovers

Feeding, Syrsee? Girl, you were dreaming about fucking him.

I was. I can’t deny it. I mean, I will deny it if anyone calls me out. But there is no point in lying to myself.

Another sigh escapes me. And again, Ryet is disturbed. Like he can feel my uneasiness. But his only response is to pull me tighter. To bring me closer. To let me know it’s all OK.

I let him do this. I snuggle up against him, my face pressed into his chest as he turns on his side, wraps his arms fully around me like a cocoon of safety, and kisses my head with a sigh.

My eyes close and the disturbing dream drifts away and a new one appears in its place.

Me and this man. A life together. Feeding him, and fucking him, and letting him love me for it.

It’s sick.

The whole thing is sick.

And there is a part of me that is truly repulsed. Ryet is not a monster like Paul. And if I hadn’t seen Paul as his true self, Ryet would just be some kind of special human. Maybe that’s all he is. But that image of Paul in the forest—the leathery black wings, the fangs and claws, the face—this makes me want to turn away. To run fast and hard. To leave this entire nightmare behind and just find a normal life. A husband who has a job that isn’t hunting down Black witches. A little house in the fucking suburbs. Two cars, two kids. The credit cards, and the after-school sports, and the gossiping girlfriends.

But there’s another part of me too. The dark part. The part that includes Black blood, and bloody sex, and the knowledge that monsters are real. This part that craves his touch, and his sickness, and wants to save him, and love him, and sleep next to him forever and ever.

This is the part of me that Grandma warned me about. This is the promise Paul is making even though he hasn’t said a word and everything I’ve done up to now has all been my choice.

Why am I doing this? Why am I entertaining Paul’s unspoken promises after my grandma warned me that the man I gave my heart to would be my downfall?

It’s Ryet. She saw him or something.

He’s going to ruin me.

So why don’t I get up out of this bed, take his truck keys, and get away?

Is it because I’ve never had anything more than a string of one-week relationships in college? Because I was abandoned by my family? Because I think my mother was going to kill me for my power and my grandma killed her instead?

Or is it just as simple as me finding a place to belong?

Because I certainly never belonged at the Guild.

I push that thought away. In fact, I push all these thoughts away. Instead of taking action or drawing conclusions I simply sigh into Ryet’s warm embrace.

I’m not going anywhere.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - RYET

Just words.

I am dreaming about owning a boat, haggling with some boat dealer with Syrsee hanging off my arm, rolling her eyes at the negotiation. But then the dream switches and we’re in a house. Something small and unassuming with paned windows that look out onto a green lawn.

Syrsee is cooking something on the stove and there are two kids sitting at a table eating cereal, swinging their feet as they talk with their mouths full.

“What the fuck?”

Syrsee turns when I say this and she’s wearing an apron, smiling at me, not looking much like herself. And she’s pregnant.

“What. The fuck?”

Then I am wide awake. My eyes are open, my heart beating fast, my body cool and almost chilled. In fact, I’m nearly freezing. The only warm part of me is where Syrsee’s body is touching mine.

She turns over, sprawling out on her side of the bed, and then all of me is cold.

I get out of bed, hit the bathroom, and then come back out and check the time on the bedside table clock. Four-seventeen.