Page 118 of Blood Lovers

And it started on day one.

I take deep breaths as I look out the window of the helicopter. I’m not dressed for this journey. I’m freezing. My hands, though stuffed into my pockets, are ice. There is a wind leaking through from the outside as we trek northeast, the sun mostly obscured by heavy cloud cover, and everything below me is nothing but cold, hard rock covered in snow.

I have no idea where we are. Above the mountains, that’s all I know.

But I do know where we’re going. The vampire’s lair. My end.

Paul’s last words to me back at the spa have been echoing through my head since I followed him up those stairs and got in behind him.

It wasn’t you I was after, it was him.

I huff out a laugh here. Because… wow. Ya know? Just… there it is. The truth. Finally. Some truth. And it came from the fucking vampire.

This truth was so stunning, and this vampire’s audacity is so… refreshing compared to all the lies I’ve been subjected to, that I followed him up to the roof and when he held the door of the helicopter open for me, I got in. Still stunned.

Why did I get in?

If I had a friend to talk this over with at some point in the future, she would ask me this question. And I’m not sure I have a good response for this. Maybe I’m so insecure that I figure what Paul is offering me is the best I can do?

Maybe feeding a growing vampire is just my lot in life, so why fight it?

If Zusi were my real friend, and we could have this conversation, then she would say, “You’re better than this.” She would be long and wordy about it, of course. She would go on and on about… something I was good at. Which—now that I’m taking stock of myself and my life—appears to be a list of one. Nourishing evil.

But, if she were my friend, she would make things up. “You’re smart, Syrsee. You have so much to offer.” Shit like that.

And I would probably just agree with her because that’s what you do when your best friend is pumping you up. You fall into the illusion and believe the lies.

But I don’t have the energy. So I don’t think it was low self-esteem. I don’t think Paul is the best I can do. That’s not why I got in.

There might be another reason why I’m flying over the Rocky Mountains with a vampire. Perhaps Paul compelled me?

It’s not likely though. It’s just not his style.

Everyone has rules. Even evil. So I think Paul needs everyone to choose him. He said as much. Not that a vampire’s word means anything to me. But did he force me into this helicopter?

No. He didn’t.

So I don’t think I was compelled.

And that leaves just one other possibility—that I can think of, anyway.

I’ve got… hope. Hope that somehow, some way, this direction I’m headed isn’t my destiny.

Hope is a dangerous thing. It blinds you. Much like the lying best friend. But it’s different because you’re the one pumping yourself up, not some outside entity.

And this is bad. Really bad. Because I’m no one. Let’s face it, I was bred. That’s what he said. You were bred for this purpose, Syrsee. This is why I exist. It is my destiny.

And you know, it’s a little bit of a relief. At least my life makes sense now. At least I understand the abandonment. Because it wasn’t abandonment at all, was it? It was… what?

A contract.

I was a box checked off on an order form and nothing more.

I wasn’t left at the Guild compound. I was… delivered. As promised and on time.

Wow.

I huff out another laugh, causing Paul to swivel in his seat to see me better. When the door to the helicopter slid open and I was directed to get in, it felt a little bit like climbing into a minivan. The main part of the passenger cabin was a seating arrangement of four luxury leather chairs. But behind them, in the back, were four more seats, smaller and closer together. I wanted to go back there because the four in front were facing each other and I didn’t want to encourage a conversation.