Page 91 of Lovely Darkness

I wander down the breezeway and come out into the huge family room to find Cerene messing with a pulse oximeter on Donovan’s finger. She’s wearing her nurse’s uniform now because she’s on duty. It’s a little bit Halloween costume, which makes her look fake. But she knows what she’s doing. I’ve seen her messing with the machines that automatically pump Donovan’s drugs when she refills them. She’s not hesitant. She looks over her shoulder at me as I approach. “Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“Oh, his pulse ox slipped. That’s the beeping.” And just as she says that, it stops beeping, content that it can now read his blood oxygen level accurately. “I guess maybe he moved his arm.”

“Does he normally move his arms?” I ask.

“No. Not much. He’s heavily sedated.”

This reminds me of the dream I had earlier, which did not feel like a dream and I find that disturbing. Because when I’m fucking with someone’s head, they will often say—to themselves, since they don’t understand that I’m listening—that things feel surreal. Like a dream.

But I really felt like Donovan and Carter were having a conversation with me.

Isn’t that what you’re supposed to feel, Merc? If someone were running a PSYOP on you?

Yep. It is.

“Do you need something?” Cerene asks, snapping me back to attention.

“Oh. No. Not really. I’m just… sorta looking for more information on our comatose friend here.”

“Do you want to see all the files?”

“You mean there’s more than this?” I point to the chart hanging off the footboard.

“Oh, yeah. Doc keeps copious notes. And it’s all on paper. He’s so old-school.”

“It’s probably not what I’m looking for, but why not. Sure.”

“They’re in his office. I’ll bring them to you.”

“Or I could just look at them in there.”

“Well”—Cerene pauses—“if you’re gonna be up for a while looking at files anyway, I was going to ask if you’d just… watch Donovan for me. So I can get some sleep. I’ve been on duty all day with no relief and someone has to be with him at all times.”

“Ohhhh. Yeah. Sure. I’m gonna be up for a while. I can watch him.”

“If anything beeps or whatever, just come wake me up. I’m in the third bedroom along the back breezeway. But nothing ever happens on the night shift. Readjusting his pulse ox has been the highlight of my day. And I only need like three or four hours of sleep. Then I’ll come back and relieve you.”

“Won’t you be tired tomorrow?”

Cerene makes a little face. Like she’s just now thinking about tomorrow. “Sabella should be back tomorrow. She’ll take over.”

“Won’t Sabella be tired from driving?”

Cerene almost wilts right in front of me. Then she sighs. “Yeah. But it’s OK. One day. I can deal with one day.”

“Well, if you’d like to sleep all night, I’ll take watch for you. And like you said, I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

“Then you’ll be up all night.” She smiles at me. “And you’re like… the star of the show. You need your rest more than I do.”

“Sasha will be here. Trust me. We’ve done our share of night watches. We’ll trade off.”

Cerene cocks her head a little. Like she really wants to say yes, but just can’t quite get there.

“It’ll be fine. I promise. Then you’ll be fresh tomorrow when Sabella gets back with Doc. Imagine her face when you tell her she can crash out instead of take over.”

Cerene smiles. “Ya talked me into it. Let me show you how it all works.”